Why You Can Do Better Than a TOP TEN BABY NAME

There are totally certain subjects smart bloggers should never touch with a ten foot pole... And this is definitely one of them! So why am I poking this topic with a 1" stick? Because no one ever said I was a smart blogger... DUH! ALSO, this is my 100th blog post- therefore I decided a little controversy was in order... to keep things jazzy!

The guys over at Wait But Why wrote an amazing piece on baby naming a couple months back that had me giddy and giggling the entire time I read it... They NAILED IT. And everyone I know read it and agreed with its awesomeness. This post will be much less statistical and much more opinion oriented- I'm not trying to compete with perfection!

In order to give it some validity (and share the blame for pissing so many people off)... I have wrangled in my BFF, my bestie, my road dawg in life. We've been friends for something like 15 years and in that time she has proved to be the only other person (ok, there's you Karissa) who I know loves the process of baby naming as much as I do. SO- I introduce to you... Kelsey Anderson! She will be helping me with my name lists- don't get too attached, you might hate us both by the end ;)

Aren't we cute?

A few weeks after reading the Wait But Why post my three year old daughter and I had an amazing conversation- sealing the deal on this post. I asked her about a girl in her class, who I'd noticed she'd been playing with a lot (I will guard this precious child's name with my life- mainly for fear that her parents might find me and have me killed.) Anyway, I said to her, "Birdie- Are you becoming good friends with _______?" And without skipping a beat she said to me, "Which _______?! There's too many of them in my class!" Of course at first I lol'd like any good mother with an ironic sense of humor would (because even my three year old knows when a name has hit Top 10!!)... And then I really started thinking about names and why people get so stuck on certain ones.

I mean- NAMES... they're like... A BIG DEAL! I have personally loved names since as long as I can remember. I vividly remember having twin dolls as a young kid and giving them the names Zoe & Chloe (I've always been a trendsetter- what can I say?)

I love "helping" expectant mother's find names (and with a whopping 6 friends currently pregnant right now- I'm throwing ideas out and annoying every one of them!). I love learning the reasons behind a chosen name and I love Googling the meaning of a name. But there is nothing that I love more than finding out the ranking of a name. Yes- ranking. As in- I want to know just how popular/trendy a name is. Usually when I hear a name I know right away if it's within the top 100. That's easy. In this post we're going to dissect the trendy ones and alert you to the up & comers... How fun!

Before we get in to our "stats" let us assure/warn you: WE ARE NOT PROFESSIONALS! I (Kenna) personally don't even know how people gather actual statistical data therefore this is all mainly our own opinions gathered via the internet as well as what we are hearing all around us in our kid's classrooms and park dates (Kenna in California/Kelsey in Wisconsin- and don't forget the Facebook birth announcements!) This info should only be taken seriously if you like us, and even then only if you yourselves dislike trendy names.

HERE. WE. GO.

The Overtly Trendy Name
You've always loved the name, I know. I had some names I loved as a child too... But miraculously I was able to find another one when it came to naming my child. Let me assure you of something, you can find another one too. You don't have to go with the name you've loved since you were 10- just because you've loved it since you were 10! A lot of new names have appeared- it's a new world for names as a matter of fact! While we're at it... Just stay away from the top 20 okay? Do us all a favor and branch out.

Of course no one (but us) is going to disagree with you when you shout it to the world you're naming your son Aiden, Jack or Noah (the 3 I hear the most)-  everyone's heard them so many times at this point they're par for the course. But have you thought about the fact that it might be more awesome to think of a name that your child can claim all to themselves- at least in their classroom?

Now in case you're really not in the name game at all- this is what we're humbly recommending you NOT name your baby in 2014 and on (there shall be a gag order given to these names until maybe 2030ish) unless you REALLY enjoy the thought of your child always having their last name initial attached to that lovely first name... Carrying it in to adulthood... "Hi, this is Bella! Bella Smith. No... No, the one with blond hair. Short blond hair.... YES! That one! Hi, how are you?"

Boys:

• Noah
• Liam
• Jacob
• Mason
• William
• Ethan
• Michael
• Alexander
• Jayden/Jaden
• Daniel
• Elijah
• Aiden
• James
• Benjamin
• Matthew
• Jackson
• Logan
• David
• Anthony
• Joseph

Girls:

• Sophia/Sofia
• Emma
• Olivia
• Isabella/Bella
• Ava
• Mia
• Emily
• Abigail
• Madison
• Elizabeth
• Charlotte
• Avery
• Chloe
• Ella
• Harper
• Aubrey
• Amelia
• Addison
• Evelyn
• Grace

The Sneaky Trendy Name
These are the names ranging from rankings 30-100 (or that are rising at warp speed into the Top 100). They might not be in your face right now but good lord on high they are coming to a baby near you soon. Example from years past: the name Madison. Have you ever met a Madison's mom who swears they'd never heard the name and then their baby hit Kinder and was in a sea of Madison's (or it's more popular alias: Maddie)? This genuinely happened to that name in 1997. At record speed in went from the ranking of 50 (1995) to Top 10 (1997). SO BE AWARE! That's all we're saying! Don't just think you're the only person in the world with a name idea... RESEARCH! (This isn't the 90's where you actually had to put in a big effort to find out if a name was popular!)

Another sneaker name was Grayson. I remember a mom-to-be actually telling me that she "made the name up". Ya. You and every other mom in LA County in 2008.

You might know this list like the back of your hand based on filling out your kid's Valentine cards last year... But just in case- currently, this is what we're looking at (in random order fyi)...

Boys:

• Asher/Ash
• Eli
• Ryder
• Finn/Finley
• Quinn
• Elliot
• Sebastian
• Kaden/Caden
• Declan
• Bennett
• Wyatt
• Luke
• Hunter
• Max
• Oliver
• Jaxon (be aware of those crazy spellings only adding to the trendiness of a name!)
• Carter
• Everett
• Cash
• Silas
• Landon
• Emmett
• Cade/Kade
• Gavin
• Levi
• Hudson
• Jude
• Chase
• Ryder
• Easton
• Weston
• Zachary
• Gabriel

Girls:

• Nora/Norah
• Ruby
• Violet
• Finley/Finlee
• Zoe/Zoey
• Quinn
• Gianna/Giana
• Iris
• Piper
• Mila
• Brooklyn
• Scarlett
• Hadley
• Vivian
• Ellie/Elle
• Savannah
• Penelope/Penny
• Sadie
• Alice
• Paisley/Paislee
• Aria
• London/Londyn (enough with the 'Y' already, people!)
• Reese/Reece/Rhys
• Adelaide/Adaline/Adalyn
• Hazel
• Delilah
• Eden
• Olive
• Stella

The Upcoming Trendy Name
In no way are we telling you to avoid these names- if you notice I have even placed my own daughter's name on the list. All we are doing is warning you- they are on the rise and have entered the top 1000 (or are set to this year). Don't think you're crazy original and go spouting off to all your friends how it came to you in some name vision. No- you actually saw it in People Magazine under the "Celebrity Births of the Week" section... (Or was that just me?) One thing we've learned in the last few years is that NO NAME IS SAFE. Even when I'd (Kenna) researched my kids names to infinity and beyond... I never thought Birdie would became an "up and coming" name on Baby Center (the most popular name-finding website). Because had I have known that- it would've broken my "No Top 1000" rule (which is on track to happen when the social security list for 2014 is released!) Fun fact: her real name is Roberta- so take that Top 1000!

Announcement by Hello Love

Boys:

• Braxton
• Brixton
• Sawyer
• Rowan
• Gunner
• Stryker
• Maverick
• Axel
• Archer
• Memphis
• Atlas
• Gideon
• Atticus
• Allister
• Dash
• Phoenix
• Rex
• Ace
• River
• Enzo
• Beckett
• Seamus 
• Luca/Lucca
• Duke
• Royal
• Nixon
• Cassius
• Bo
• Thatcher
• Nash

Girls:

• Ellery
• Ellody
• Birdie
• Farrah
• Story
• Romy
• Tallulah
• Isla
• Greta
• Braelyn/Braelynn
• Luna
• Eve/Evie
• Lilia
• Gwyneth/Gwendolyn/Gwen
• India 
• Indie
• Collins
• Karis
• Magnolia
• Pearl
• Teagan
• Hattie
• Lux/Luxx
• Freya
• Willow
• Phoebe
• Fiona
• Ivory
• Juniper
• Poppy 
• Wren
• Clementine

The I'm-Going-With-a-Classic-and-I-Don't-Care Name

You're dead set on the name George. I mean if it's good enough for the Princess, it's good enough for you. Hey... You know what? Bless it. One of Cormac's best friend's name is William and his mom acknowledges his classically popular name with pride. Just be sure that you can own the fact that it's not only a classic... But most likely very trendy too. And can ya do us just one favor? Get a little crazy with the middle name... Huh? Can ya?

This years 3 "Big Classics":

Boys:

• Charlie
• Samuel
• Henry

Girls:

• Anna
• Lucy
• Caroline

The Celeb-Kid-Name-Gone-Trendy-That-Will-Conjure-Up-Image-of-Celeb-Kid-Every-Time 
Look- if The Pitts have named their kid something- they won, you loose- find something else. I (Kelsey) was actually very interested in the name Pax until Angie got her hands on it... I moved on!

Every time I hear the name Maddox this is what I think of.

• Jayden
• Maddox
• Matilda
• Knox
• Apple
• Kingston
• Coco
• Moses
• Everly
• Shiloh

Hello baby girl Maxwell Drew! We didn't see that one coming.

The Boy Name as Girl Name
This trend has been around for awhile. I mean my parents got my name (Kelsey) out of the boy section of the baby name book. But more recently this trend rocketed into popularity when model/actress Jaime King started going by James. Now I find myself asking my kids, "Which Ryan? Boy Ryan or girl Ryann?" This is also a big one that parents think they made up, then encounter 3 other "girl Jameses" in play group.

Here are a few we've heard this year...

• Charlie/Charlee
• Elliott
• Emerson
• Michael
• Ashton
• Rowan
• Ace
• Presley/Preslee
• Austin
• Cash/Kash
• Landon/Landyn 
• Axel/Axyl/Axl
• Luca/Lucca
• Maverick
• Nico
• Jameson
• James
• Ryan/Ryann
• Maxwell
• Brett/Brette
• Wyatt

How to Thoroughly Research a Name...
You didn't think we were just going to bitch and moan about a bunch of names and then not provide you with resources for finding names we like more, did you? No way! Of course there are plenty of great books out there I'm sure- but at this point I think it's pretty safe to say that what's in the books is on the internet...

Here are our favorite naming websites...

www.babycenter.com
www.nameplayground.com
www.nameberry.com
www.parents.com/baby-names
www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames
www.babynamewizard.com
www.babynames.com
www.babble.com/baby-names
www.deadspin.com/american-baby-names-are-somehow-getting-even-worse

Researching Names Based on Cultural Preference...
When I (Kenna) was pregnant with Cormac, I was dead set on giving him an Irish name. Likewise, my friend Amy (who's married to an Italian man) would only consider Italian names for her four boys: Giacomo, Luciano, Valentino and Massimo (I helped her with that last one!)

If your goal is to stay true to your roots- the easiest way to find a name within your cultural preference is to find a good website dedicated to it... Exactly how I found the name Cormac!

Irish
Scottish
English
Italian
African
Nordic
Greek

In closing...

You've finished the post and somehow we've managed to take down at least 3 names in your immediate family or extended... And here's the deal. We still love kids with trendy names- in fact some of my (Kenna) kid's favorite friends to play with are Liam, Noah and Ava. While we do not in anyway, shape or form CONDONE these names for 2014 & on... We vow to still love the babies even if you choose to ignore us. Well, that's kind of a lie because I don't even really like other people's babies/children in general... I mean, my own push their luck at times... But anyway- we will still appreciate them as human beings...?

Before you huff and puff and type your angry comments just remember that this entire post was written mainly to make name snobs laugh  provoke thought when choosing your sweet little precious' name... And hopefully go viral, duh.

NOW GO NAME YOUR BABY!

[Practically] Baby Name Experts,
Kenna (#997) & Kelsey (#306)

SheKnows.com has some great naming insight!

The Summer I Decided to be an Awesome Mom

I honestly can't even remember how I ever had time to run a blog. My days right now are jam packed every. single. day. The "blogging time" I used to keep in my life just isn't there anymore... And in a one way it's so freeing. If I'm honest I actually never had time to sit and blog. I've always been busy- I was born busy. I'm an closet overcommitter in the worst way possible.

But I used to MAKE time for the blog- literally shoving it in to my day, where it did not fit. Blogging at the most inopportune times because I had to- I was committed to being a "blogger". Most times I would I sit and write in the mornings while the kids were up and needing my attention (a great way to start the morning!). I'd have a subject I needed to get out that I was too tired to finish the night before and so I'd ignore the kids and spit out the blog. I'd turn in to "mean blogging mom" for about 2 hours, trying my best to edit it (with my non-literature background) and spending copious amounts of time uploading all my supporting photos. On most occasions shoving blogging in to a day turned me in to somewhat of a Hulk like figure where if anything got in my way or line of consciousness I'd likely loose my mind.

I've mentioned on here many times that prior to having kids, I was never the type of woman who dreamed about her future children. I didn't have names picked out or outfits saved in a hope chest. Prior to getting married I wasn't even sure if I wanted kids because I had such a strong desire for being a successful career woman and doing things.... like blogging. And blogging well. Often times today, I want nothing more than to just sit and blog. Or create something without distraction. But that is not my lot in life right now. My lot in life, by my own doing- is to stay home with the kids with a loose goal of trying to raise a couple of decent humans. As much as I love to work (seriously, I am a classic work-a-holic) and plan parties (the ultimate work)... I'm finally owning the fact that I desire more to be in control of how my kids are raised. (I am also a classic control freak.)

I decided this summer that while the kids were going to be home with me, I wasn't going to be my infamous "mean blogging mom" self who didn't have time for books or legos while I was writing. Instead I made a conscious decision to try and be my most present version of mom yet. I was going to try and embrace new things that most moms loved and have somehow skipped over me. (I blame my childhood or something.)

All in all I must say, summer '14 was pretty amazing. I was pretty amazing. As a mom. I was actually a pretty amazing mom this summer. Such a crazy statement because in all honesty motherhood does not come naturally to me. I am the last one to ever call myself amazing in the mom category. You have never heard me gush about motherhood or breastfeeding or all of the crap that usually makes me want to run far, far away from a mom group (or unfollow an IGer).

But this summer- this summer I kind of killed it. Sure, there were a few rough days while Shawn took two week long trips- but for the most part we had a great two and a half months full of beach days (I hate the beach), exploring new parks (hated slightly less that the beach), a million trips to the zoo (I now know the animals by name... I hate animals), swimming at the YMCA (I hate swimming and pretty much water in general) and so many trips to Yogurtland the employees would talk to us like we were old friends... (I love Yogurtland). Oh- and aside from that one trip to the Y where the water was actually below zero and I was terribly cranky about it- I don't think the kids would ever guess that I didn't love the beach, pool, parks and zoo. What I'm trying to say is that I harnessed the ability to focus on them instead of the sand all over my car, my ruined curly wet hair, and those park kids I have no control of who bring weapons to fight with (Hey- little shit! Put away the sword and try the monkey bars, eh?)

As of this week, both kids are back in school. Although I was so ready for Cormac to be in Kindergarten full time- like truly very ready -without an ounce of hesitation in sending him, I still spent half of his first day looking at old pics of him and making Instagram photo collages of him on his #firstdayofschool. Which made me feel universally connected to moms everywhere... A complete and total rarity.

With the kids both back in school and a whopping 12 hours a week to myself without anyone asking me for juice (and only one child a chunk of the rest of the time) I've realized once again that I live a busy life and there's just no two ways about it. I like to act like we're free to hang out anytime because I love coming across all mellow like that. But with networking for MPM, coaching Cormac's AYSO team, volunteer work for his school... I'm coming to the realization that- as I once read on an Instagram bio: "Wife. Mom. Blogger. Addicted to Busy." YES. I AM ADDICTED TO BUSY. If I had the mellow life I'm so desperate to convince you we lead... I'm pretty sure I'd be bored to tears. I love busy. I love projects. I love having full, productive days.

Which is all the more reason I'm happy that this summer I used my powers for good and was addicted-to-busy with the kids. Because I could have pumped out blogs, sewing projects and styled shoots. The work-a-holic in me would have loved that.

But I didn't- and I'm proud of myself for that. See, you can teach an old dog new tricks!

xo Party or Die xo

kenna

(And our foreign exchange student Mo came to visit, so that was awesome.)

Single Parenting and On The Verge of Losing It

We're on Day 5 of Shawn (aka daddy) being gone and it's just in the last two hours I've decided I might in fact loose my mind. I lasted a lot longer than I anticipated actually, not feeling even an ounce of resentment until today. And then it kicked in with a fierceness. The kids are not listening to me at all anymore. They've completely moved on from thinking I am any sort of authority figure in their lives. They're teamed up to beat me and guess what? They're winning. I am Brazil. They are Germany.

Birdie drew this earlier in the week and said, "Momma, it's you!" I should have taken it as an omen.

Two hours ago I suddenly felt like crying on the way home from a picnic with friends at the Mission. Not crying because I miss Shawn (is that mean? I don't mean it to be) but because I NEED A BREAK. I've said before that I don't know how military wives do it. I don't know how single parents do it. I don't know how moms (or dads) give of themselves all day every day and not want to just scream at their kids and random childless people at Costco who run to the "I can help the next guest in line over here!" register. Hey- asshole! Look at me- I have two kids poking each other's eyes out over here? Throw me a bone?

{And if Birdie kicks the wall while she should be sleeping ONE more time while I'm trying to blog, I might scream. I'm convinced most moms drink around bedtime. I need to get on this.}

It's been a crazy week in general with all these play dates I set up to distract the kids from Shawn being gone and then the Santa Barbara newspaper running a story on MPM and the upcoming Nickelodeon show this Sunday... I feel like I should be so excited and hopeful and yet, I'm just tired. I'm tired of thinking about the business and what steps I need to take... Right now I feel like I will never be able to put the time in to MPM that I actually want to. I can't even walk in to Coffee Bean for 5 minutes to pin up business cards without my kids fighting and screaming and embarrassing the living day lights out of me. Why can't we leave our kids in cars again? (Thanks to the idiot that had to screw that up for me.) I feel like I'm swimming an upstream battle by trying to relaunch this business as a "real business" while I'm raising my kids sans a nanny. And I only have two! And they're probably decent children! But my goodness they're needy! Like two full-time jobs. I mean seriously if I were President the SAHP (whether it be mom or dad) would get paid a nice fat salary! Sometimes I think it's crazy I do this all day and get no financial compensation! It's THE hardest work I've ever done.

I'm like that kind of famous that's anonymous. It's a special kind of famous. 

And then there's way more awesome moms out there attempting to explain homemade Play-Doe recipes to my kids. LALALALA- we're not listennning! I cannot handle regular Play-Doe, why would we make it homemade? That sounds like the worst idea evvverrr... Especially when the husband is gone. For a week. And our carpets already look like the dog just rolled around in mud on them. Oh wait that's right he did.

And to think Shawn will be gone for 3 weeks in October. I might hire a live-in nanny and preemptively join AA.

Friends keep "giving me ideas" for blogs to write while Shawn is gone. Yes you. And you. Stop. I have ideas- I've never been at a shortage for ideas to blog about. I'm actually avoiding the blog because I'm tired. Like blogging currently does not fit in to a kids-home-all-Summer-long-and-Mommy-gets-no-break lifestyle. I think people who don't blog think blogging is easy and posts just go up magically and within an hour. Hey- try it! It's not easy! It's time consuming! I wish it were easy and magical and that when I posted something people would just read it and share it and comment and I got a paycheck where I could buy a new rug every month. Gosh I love rugs.

I digress... I need my husband back. I need my wing man- my parenting wing man. Because I'm not cut out for single parenting. Did I mention Birdie peed on the couch twice this week so my living room inevitably smells like good ol' fashioned urine? Ya! And that she got ahold of a bag of sugar at 7am and filled 6 glass cups to the rim (and the floor all around) with it? Win! And Cormac's having night terrors again... Awesome! And yep, I just need to have a day to myself a-sap. Like a-lone. Like I don't even want a stranger to say hello to me. (Unless you saw me in the paper, then tell me how awesome I am.)

Here's a picture so you know we're all still alive. Well really just the kids because I'm pretty much dead. Tired. Dead tired. No reason to be alarmed. I'm totally alive and kicking. And screaming.

Ps- watch me on TV this Sunday night. I'll be moonlighting on Take Me To Your Mother on NickMom (check local listings for times). Who knows how long I'll be on or what I'm even going to say- I'm a loose cannon you know, so I don't even I know what I said... Hopefully something about throwing parties but I give no guarantees.

Earlier in the week we celebrated my niece's adorable self at a Peanuts Gang party that my sister handcrafted. 

See, I told you I'm alive.

xo Party or Die xo

kenna

The #KidsofInstagram and Why I Hate Them

 

Ok, so the title is a little harsh. I mean what do you want me to do, go around titling blog posts about love and peace? Ya, that'll get me reads. Let me tell you something, when you declare you hate something in a blog title, the clicks pour in. There, a free tip for you new bloggers, you're welcome.

This post is going to be me picking specifically on Instagram and the #KidsofInstagram because currently it is my social media platform of choice and I see these kids as much as my own. If you aren't familiar with Instagram (IG for short) but you are a sort-of down to earth person, you will still probably relate to this post- so don't worry.

Ok, so maybe HATE was a little strong. I mean, my kids are on IG a heck of a lot, and of course I don't hate them. Well, sometimes... Ok, so I don't really hate any of the kids that have become the rolling feed of my Instagram... It's just well, I hate that they look so amazingly perfect every flipping day- in every aspect from their face to their clothes to even their bedrooms.

I'm serious. These kids are dressed to the nines like everyday. Every. Day. There's a photo shoot with them everyday. No judgment on the photo shoot or the parenting or anything like that... I can assure you I do some pretty weird/questionable child rearing myself during Party Week. It's just that seriously, what kid puts up with this stuff? I can hardly get my kids to sit still with shoes on, let alone actually look at the camera without them trying to rip it out of my hands. Even if my kids are dressed as cute as I can manage on my monthly kid's clothing budget of (Ha! That was good!) there's usually a stain involved or a blue tongue sticking out. But not for the #KidStyle, #ToddlerFashion, #FashionKids of IG. There's never a stain. Never a bad hair day. Never a refusal to give that perfect #ModelKid pout.

I think I must be jealous. Or something. Because look- I had all sorts of ideas on how I was going to dress my kids before I had them, just like I had ideas on how I was going to dress myself as a young cute mom. If Pinterest existed before I'd had kids I would have totally had boards titled, "Future Littles" filled with pictures of babies in scarves and toddlers in head wrap turbans. But then I had kids and became a mom and life and poop and spit-up- it all happened at once and I had to tone it down on the baby fashion and just hope I had an extra onesie somewhere. I figured I could just wait for everyday fashionable kids until toddlerhood! But somehow bow ties and button-up shirts didn't pan out for a kid who just wanted to make mud pies all day. And let me tell you, toddler skinny jeans are terrible for potty training. I also used to have strong opinions about my kids NEVER wearing licensed character items- I mean, that was my worst nightmare. Now I get as excited about a Lego Movie "Everything Is Awesome!" tee as I do about a good heather gray V neck for myself. Oh dear, I just admitted to liking both of those things, practically out loud. WHO AM I?!

With every IG photo of the adorably dressed, very hygienic looking child a little piece of the old fashion design obsessed-me dies. I mean, here I majored in fashion and I can't for the life of me get motivated to get my 2 year old in to anything other than leggings... Xhilaration brand leggings. Sometimes anything more than underwear is an accomplishment.

Of course I'm still totally eating up all of the carefully planned out IG #KidStyle posts, I mean I'd be crazy not hand out "like" after sweet "like" to the little girl in Freshly Picked moccs, a crop top and daisy dukes. I actually love that somehow these moms (and dads) managed to get their 20 month old in to a limited edition sailor outfit complete with heart shaped sunglasses and a head wrap. Not like I've ever dressed my kids "high end" or "limited edition" (because our version of high end is the Gymboree sale rack) BUT even our low class version of high end I save for two big holidays: Easter and Christmas. I figure my kids can handle Momarazzi twice a year begging them to smile, look at me and keep their shoes on. We just did Easter and I'm exhausted.

 Sometimes we match.

 

And yes, I know... Maybe I'm a hypocrite. Maybe these IG parents will someday stumble upon my IG and say, "HOW does she manage to pull off those parties with two kids vying for her attention!" (Oh, I sure hope someone, somewhere says that someday) but for now, I can't even imagine anything I do comparing to making sure your kids look really awesome, fashionable AND clean daily. And then to have them photograph well. What the...

My favorite little girl to follow, Harlow. Plus her Dad is hilar... The Daddy Fashion Stylist
And bonus- if you follow him, you can get in with a whole slew of these fashion-parents.

 

What gets me even more than the IG parents with their super gorgeous, never ketchup-stained children, are their followers who follow them and said Gorgeous Perfect child. I mean, the IGer could be posting a picture of their kid swinging in the park showing off the Spring14 hot off the press "Roaring Tiger" dress and the follower somehow notices something ridiculously small in the photo, like a red barrette. Yes I said barrette. Follower will then beg for the poster as well as any of their followers to let them know, "Where can I possibly find that barrette, MUST HAVE". I mean, for realz?

The IG kids clothing brands crack me up too, whether it's the crazy high end Mini Rodini or the indie designer's with a big following... Their fans are nuts. And I'm nuts so that's saying something. They seriously wait around on their phones for this stuff to "go live" and if there happens to be an auction- it's like watching vultures. I mean, heck- I'm all about supporting small(er) business but on IG it is normal for a toddler tee to be $58 and for people to buy it. I just can't, even if I were rich! I'm hard pressed to spend $8 on a tee for a 2 year old! And while I do admit to loving a lot of the designs on IG, it's still weird to me that parents care that much about their kids everyday PLAY clothing! AND I LOVE KID'S CLOTHES, even play ones! I'm not like some weird cheap hand-me-down mom- I actually love shopping for my kids! But caring about custom printed Aztec print leggings that cost $38 (indie), $88 (designer) that will be grown out of in 3 months- that's a little crazy! You know who else sells Aztec print leggings? CottonOn Kids. For $12.00. In multiple colors.

Last thought... A while back I kind of got the idea of the whole IG kid's designer and pop up shop concept. Because here I was thinking that sure you might be spending big money on your kid's clothes- but at least they're wearing totally different stuff than every other kid... But this is NOT true and my feed is proof! All these fashion kids wear the exact same stuff... AS IF! The $88 toddler polka dot high wasted swim suit paired with Saltwater sandals and please don't forget the head wrap, that ever important head wrap. And kids really actually keep those things on their head? I'm in awe of this. I can't even keep a good old fashioned real rubber band in my daughter's hair, let alone a big piece of fabric.

Whew! I got it all out.

I'm done.
I feel better now.

Off to spray stain remover on our poop-stained Target leggings.

xo Party or Die xo

kenna

(Following MPM on IG will get you pics of my daughter swimming in gutter water- true story- making you feel like the best parent on earth.)

You know you want one.

{Happy Sibling's Day!} & Crap My Kids Fight About

 

I really wanted to use a curse word in the title but you know... You trade in a lot of luxuries when your husband's a pastor.

It's been a busy couple of weeks since I last braced the blog with my deep thoughts on life. I'm in the thick of writing my business plan for my business class and we're on the financials part. True to always, simple math is kicking my butt. I've been meeting with people left and right trying to get my pricing structure in order and re-launch my business after graduation this May. It's exciting and nerve wracking and I'm learning so much about myself in the process. I mean, it's like therapy every week. And there's an actual therapist in our class too. I probably need to book a sesh...

Moving on...

So... Happy Belated Sibling's Day? That whole idea kind of blew up this year, eh? In honor of it- I decided to write about how lately my kids have been fighting about the craziest (ie: stupidest) things imaginable... Just to add a little zest to life I think. When I think about their fights, it's seriously laughable. And cryable. And screamable.

I've decided it would help me cope with their bickering if I gave the world a sampling of what I'm listening to on a daily basis...

So here we go.

They're fighting over plates. Who gets the dinosaur plate, who gets the owl plate... I'm about to toss out every cutesy plate and have them fight over white China. They'll only throw that at each other once!

They're fighting over who sits by the dog's crate while they're eating. I'm convinced my son doesn't even really like the dog, but my goodness he somehow needs to sit by him now while eating breakfast... I love starting the morning off with tears!

They're fighting over if the other is aloud to, "get in on their side of the car". Cormac's made a rule that Birdie cannot crawl over his seat to get to her car seat. So now Birdie has the same rule. So I've got to walk to both sides of the flippin' car now for fear that feat will be flying in the other's face trying to prevent the ol' crawl-across. These are the types of things you swore you'd never do before parenthood.

They're fighting over if one looks out of the other's window while we're driving. I mean, seriously you can't make this stuff up. This is our newest fight and it's mind numbing. Me trying to explain that windows belong to everyone- not just the person sitting nearest to it... Not the meaningful post-preschool chat I was hoping for.
 

They're fighting over who Birdie can be in the Circus Show they've created. Cormac is controlling (like me) and Birdie is a free spirit. She swears she needs to be the Clown Tamer, not the Lion Tamer. It is pissing Cormac off that she just can't be a normal Circus act. And she is mad he can't see the beauty in taming those unruly clowns.

They're fighting (actually mainly just Cormac complaining on this one) that Birdie only wanted to play with him on her first day of preschool. "That first day she played with me and now she'd rather play with sand!" But the minute they get home, you know where they're actually forced to play together- Cormac suddenly needs "alone Lego time". My brain hurts trying to process this stuff.

For all of the fighting they do though, I must admit they have some of the sweetest moments. Like when he actually breaks apart his baseball game snack to share it with her. And when her brother is in trouble, Birdie runs to his side and caresses his back and says, "It's ok Cormac, I love you..."

So for all the fighting, I have to remind myself that their love for each other is huge and I'm so happy they have each other as siblings.

 

So... Happy Flippin' Sibling's Day!

 

Follow me on Instagram for more photos of my kids when they're getting along. I try and capture every moment as if it were the last.

 

xo Party or Die xo

kenna

Forget Play Dates, I'm Looking For Mom Dates.

Let me just get the obvious out of the way- I don't know how military wives do it. They're fantastic human beings made up of flexibility and emotional stability. They do not sit around and wonder about things like if so and so is hanging out with so and so... (because- really, they weren't even friends before I introduced them...)

I digress. Yes, I'm back on the subject of moving. It's been 3 months since we moved and wow- moving... well- in a nut shell- I'm still in shock I think. I blogged on the subject pretty soon after we moved- and I'm just back to confirm, yep- moving still sucks.

Although I don't regret our choice to uproot our family, sell our house and move an hour back in to civilization (aka: a big city), it does not take the sting out of any of it. The sting of leaving what you knew to be home for over five years is... I'm going to admit it- harder than I thought it would be.

Some of the sting comes from feeling it through my kids (my 5 year old) and some of it is just plain missing things the way they were.

While there are days I do miss our house, our yard, even our chickens... These things don't occupy my mind the way my friends do. This move has taught me that I really valued the friendships I'd made in those five years.

Not to say I haven't made any friends in my new town, I've made a few that I'm loving getting to know. The difference is I'm used to having a gaggle of them- a crew that all knew each other and hung out- who's kids all loved each other because they'd been friends since they were babies. That is what I'm missing. It was ideal and I didn't realize how amazing it was, foolish me.

The things we take for granted...

Disclaimer: I have never had a problem making friends- ever. There have been times I've wondered how the hell I got so many friends and tried figuring out ways to un-attach myself to a few. I remember meeting my friend Brette 10 years ago (my military wife moving-hero) and telling her that, "I'm not really in the market for new friends." (I mean, seriously- WHO SAYS THAT?!) Oh to have such a problem former self. Former annoying self.

Moving not only means giving up houses and neighborhoods and grocery stores and the local burger joint- it means meeting new friends. Dating new friends I should say. Wondering if you're going to get "that second play date text" or if it just wasn't a match- with the moms, the kids, the schedules... AHHHH! The stars need to align in order to get that text.

In thinking about finding new friends I've realized that like with regular dating- I have a few prerequisites. At this stage of the game, I actually have quite a few. I'm a high maintenance friend dater- there I've given you fair warning.

So in an ode to moving and attempting to make new friends that I will like as much as my old friends, I have put together this personal ad... You know, in case you wanted to pass it on to any Santa Barbara moms out there you may know... By chance.

Here we go!

Looking to meet moms with likeable children ages 2-7 who know how to throw a good tantrum from time to time (for solidarities sake). Moms that love their children -obviously- but who don't necessary feel like they're killing it with the whole mom-thing... You know, like you're actually really excited for Kindergarten. Or work. Or both.

On any regular day we should be able to talk fashion, kid fashion (preferably Harajuku Mini and what Easter outfit ideas we have coming down the pike), home décor (you must be able to get excited about things like a new Ikea rug purchase), blogs, social media, how annoying the husband can be (a non-negotiable) as well as talk about celebrities as if they're our friends- because it's pretty much only a matter of time, right?



No "helicopter moms" need apply, I'm your worst nightmare and it just won't be a good match. I'm not saying your kid is running in the street during rush hour... but practically. I'd like to be able to sit with you and talk about life and how we don't understand why every other kid is Gluten Free- without you getting up 5,000x to check and see if, "the kids are getting along". Even if the kids aren't getting along- do I look concerned? Let them figure it out. I'm not trying to run a 2 year old's play time for our entire play date- which in my head I'm definitely referring to as a Mom Date.

It's a major plus if you like to shop. Places like TJMaxx, Ross and Home Goods are my stomping grounds. Doing things like splitting the costs on a sitter while the husband is at work so we can get out and score a few deals- ya, that kind of crazy is right up my alley.

Coffee is good too- kids love coffee shop play dates, right? Taco Bell? You're talking soul mate material now. I like quick, easy and cheap all rolled in to one. We're not getting together to cook a gourmet dinner while we sip wine, that's for sure. Don't mistake me for classy.

As we get to know each other, feel free to wear sweats and your paint splattered sweatshirt to my house if you're feeling it. I don't want to always have to look great around you either so this really levels the playing field. I mean, don't get crazy and meet me somewhere in sweats or anything- we have to maintain some shred of decency- but feel free to be makeup-free after a handful of Mom Dates if it's just us.

Please have a sense of humor. I hate non-funny people. Like, how were you born without a sense of humor? It's so sad and I'm not trying to have a charity case on my hands ok...

Last thing- a love of the party. Since this is what I do, it's really helpful if you love a good party. You don't have to be amazing at it but please no, "I hate celebrating birthdays!" That crap is just weird.

In closing- I'm kind of awesome and I'm just looking for some equally awesome ladies to bond with- is that too much to ask?

xo Party or Die xo

Kenna

Oh Dear, Am I That Mom I Hate?

In this day and age of mom-competition, where every mom has her own brand of being a mom ("Organic Mom", "Homeschool Mom", "Breastfeeding Mom", "No-Spank Mom", "Yes-Spank Mom", "Attachment Mom", "Baby-Wise Mom", "Cloth Diapering Mom", "No-Vaccine Mom, "Homeopathic Mom"... the list goes ON and ON...) I find myself always making it clear to anyone that will listen that I do not subscribe to any "parenting theories". I am theory-less. I'm just trying to make sure that my husband and I's "theories" at least meet- like half of the time.

I don't spend copious amounts of time reading up on parenting trends or soaking in books/magazines/podcasts on child rearing. Or any time at all. If I pick up Parenting Magazine, it's because I saw a pennant banner on the cover I liked, or a friend of mine has a published party in it.

I'm just sort of doing it, this parenting thing. Most days I struggle... like STRUG-GLE. I am not all up and at um' at 7am, excited about making homemade pancakes and juicing up my own healthy concoction for some added energy. I am begging, and I mean begging these two children of mine for, "5 more minutes please- then I'll put in some Eggos" and then downing cup after cup of glorious coffee, all while walking around until about 11:00am with some of the worst bed head you've ever laid eyes on.

I have good mom days and really, really bad days. Days I'm fried by 6:30pm and literally feel like these children must put themselves to bed- or I will in fact, implode. Days where I start off sentences to a 2 year old with, "WHY ON EARTH?" and "Are we SERIOUS here?!"

I read these blogs that talk about not saying, "Hurry Up" to your kids and definitely not EVER yelling. These are the new parenting forbiddens. Are these woman on Prozac? These blogs buzz around the internet once, find you on a bad day- and make you feel like crap... and then they come back for round two (just happened) for all the people who missed them the first time. And of course you have to stumble upon them both times on the days you happened to have yelled, "HURRY UP!" repeatedly.

I find myself wondering what brand of mom is really not saying "hurry up" and you know... Pretty much despising them. I'd go so far as to say if you're the person that's sharing all the, "don't say this to your kids" blogs, I'm probably rolling my eyes- like slow motion rolling my eyes at your profile picture. Unless I already love you- then you can do no wrong... but if I'm on the fence and you're going all perfect-mom on me then yaaaaa.... Totally rolling my eyes and yelling, "Oh brother!" at the computer.

But this weekend something hit me. It hit me that I could be... the annoying one. That eyes could be being rolled at ME. Little ol' no-child-rearing-theory-mom ME. The gal who has no true daily routine, no "meal-plans", no weekly mom-group play dates... ME.

I have always felt that because I have been so honest both in person and on the blog about how much I struggle devoting my life to motherhood- that no one could be annoyed by ME trying to be a perfect mom. Because I'm so not and it's so obvious that I'm not in the mom-competition, or if I am, I'm in like last place, dragging past the finish line. Hey- I may be in last place- but least I'm not annoying!

RIGHT?

I'm in the clear, right?

Well, it was brought to my attention after my sister visited this weekend that I might not be in the clear. She mentioned, in her lighthearted way- that more than a few people in the last 6 months has asked her if, in a nut shell- she's intimidated by throwing parties for her two girl's and inviting our mutual friends with me as her sister: Miss Party Mom.

WOW. I'M being used as the litmus test for how to throw parties? Well that IS annoying! As if us moms aren't already feeling judged by every woman in our lives- now we're going to act like the way we throw our kid's parties should hold any baring on us as mothers?

I guess it's time I set some things straight about being a Party Planning Mom. Maybe overdue actually.

Hear this ladies: Throwing a killer party for your kid- does NOT make you a good mom. At times, it can actually make you a really shitty one. It can completely blind you from who the party is actually for and wrap you up so deep in it- you've forgotten about LIFE and actually having one.

So if big parties are not your thing- don't throw them! Don't let Pinterest and other moms (like me) make you feel pressured in to doing something you're not great at and don't love.

I throw parties because, as I've mentioned many times before- I NEED some form of creative outlet and I happen to love throwing parties, always have. I did not start this business for my children- because I am some awesome mom who wanted them to always have the very best parties. I very much started it for myself, so that I'd be doing something I enjoyed every night when the kids went to bed.

The thought of moms (especially friends!) looking at my parties and rolling their eyes, saying, "Oh brother!" at the computer totally makes me cringe. I'm sure it's going to happen- in the same way I know friends who will never stop pinning, "Organic Must-Try Meals" or "10 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Appreciated Today"- things that literally make me want to regurgitate... Well I guess parties can do that to people too, my parties might do that to people.

I might be that mom I hate.

So in trying to ponder this new found discovery that I may be someone's "organic mom" (my version of the ultimate eye-roll) I guess my point here is that maybe us moms just need to focus on our strengths. And yes- it's probably going to annoy the next mom- SO what!

You want to grill up that green pepper and stuff the hell out of it with weird food I've never even heard of and definitely can't pronounce? Go for it. Ya, I'll still roll my eyes when you put it all over IG, FB and Twitter... but heck, if it makes you happy and you're good at it- have at it.

And I'm going to do my parties- not because I'm trying to out do anyone or be Super Party Mom. I'm just trying to be a mom who doesn't loose herself totally to wiping butts, popping Eggos and building Legos.

So you go cook your crazy meals and remember that I SUCK AT COOKING. You go run your marathon knowing that I'm WAY TOO LAZY FOR THAT. You go do anything other than throwing a killer party and remember that I probably have no idea how you even thought of that.

AND- If you want to do throw a Dora party with Walmart décor and focus on a gourmet meal... By all means we will GLADLY be at your party ready to enjoy your gourmet meal. Don't think I'm above anything because I throw my kid's "cool parties". I am still just a girl from the ghetto who had every birthday party at Pizza Hut on Inglewood Avenue. I had just as much fun there as I would have had at a the local light-up bowling alley where the "cool parties" were held.

Please remember this about your kids too, before you roll your eyes at that super annoying Pinterest party... That hopefully I didn't do.

xo Party or Die xo

kenna

Pretty much my only parenting theory.

A Valentine's Breakfast-Party Surprise!

I am sharing this party- not because it's some amazing creation I did- but because it's TOTALLY DOABLE for every momma. Sure I happen to possibly have a few extra props than the normal mom- but I mainly just gathered house hold items (see a kid's kitchen in there, a box of their dress-up clothes, stuffed animals galore, a red wagon- you get the point...) and went to work styling them the best I could.

This was last year's party and I put the entire thing together Valentine's Eve- I didn't even get the idea until about 5:00pm. I started around 7:30pm, when the kid's went to bed and worked on it until about 1:00am- making one run to Target for goodies like powdered donuts, honey buns, one mylar balloon, some plates, cute little plastic $1 isle heart cups and a V-day garland- of course! 

I invited one set of my kid's friends to keep the breakfast small and within my $30 budget. I woke Cormac & Birdie up the morning of February 14th and showed them the fantastic little outfits I'd put together and told my son to get ready- we had friends and breakfast waiting! He was beyond excited and loved the fact that it was a surprise. My daughter was just excited about the powdered donuts.

The whole "party" lasted about an hour and a half and then I whisked my son off to preschool and cleaned up shop.

It was a great Valentine's celebrating with my little sugar-loving loves- I highly recommend you try it ;)

xo Party or Die xo

kenna