Oh Dear, Am I That Mom I Hate?

In this day and age of mom-competition, where every mom has her own brand of being a mom ("Organic Mom", "Homeschool Mom", "Breastfeeding Mom", "No-Spank Mom", "Yes-Spank Mom", "Attachment Mom", "Baby-Wise Mom", "Cloth Diapering Mom", "No-Vaccine Mom, "Homeopathic Mom"... the list goes ON and ON...) I find myself always making it clear to anyone that will listen that I do not subscribe to any "parenting theories". I am theory-less. I'm just trying to make sure that my husband and I's "theories" at least meet- like half of the time.

I don't spend copious amounts of time reading up on parenting trends or soaking in books/magazines/podcasts on child rearing. Or any time at all. If I pick up Parenting Magazine, it's because I saw a pennant banner on the cover I liked, or a friend of mine has a published party in it.

I'm just sort of doing it, this parenting thing. Most days I struggle... like STRUG-GLE. I am not all up and at um' at 7am, excited about making homemade pancakes and juicing up my own healthy concoction for some added energy. I am begging, and I mean begging these two children of mine for, "5 more minutes please- then I'll put in some Eggos" and then downing cup after cup of glorious coffee, all while walking around until about 11:00am with some of the worst bed head you've ever laid eyes on.

I have good mom days and really, really bad days. Days I'm fried by 6:30pm and literally feel like these children must put themselves to bed- or I will in fact, implode. Days where I start off sentences to a 2 year old with, "WHY ON EARTH?" and "Are we SERIOUS here?!"

I read these blogs that talk about not saying, "Hurry Up" to your kids and definitely not EVER yelling. These are the new parenting forbiddens. Are these woman on Prozac? These blogs buzz around the internet once, find you on a bad day- and make you feel like crap... and then they come back for round two (just happened) for all the people who missed them the first time. And of course you have to stumble upon them both times on the days you happened to have yelled, "HURRY UP!" repeatedly.

I find myself wondering what brand of mom is really not saying "hurry up" and you know... Pretty much despising them. I'd go so far as to say if you're the person that's sharing all the, "don't say this to your kids" blogs, I'm probably rolling my eyes- like slow motion rolling my eyes at your profile picture. Unless I already love you- then you can do no wrong... but if I'm on the fence and you're going all perfect-mom on me then yaaaaa.... Totally rolling my eyes and yelling, "Oh brother!" at the computer.

But this weekend something hit me. It hit me that I could be... the annoying one. That eyes could be being rolled at ME. Little ol' no-child-rearing-theory-mom ME. The gal who has no true daily routine, no "meal-plans", no weekly mom-group play dates... ME.

I have always felt that because I have been so honest both in person and on the blog about how much I struggle devoting my life to motherhood- that no one could be annoyed by ME trying to be a perfect mom. Because I'm so not and it's so obvious that I'm not in the mom-competition, or if I am, I'm in like last place, dragging past the finish line. Hey- I may be in last place- but least I'm not annoying!

RIGHT?

I'm in the clear, right?

Well, it was brought to my attention after my sister visited this weekend that I might not be in the clear. She mentioned, in her lighthearted way- that more than a few people in the last 6 months has asked her if, in a nut shell- she's intimidated by throwing parties for her two girl's and inviting our mutual friends with me as her sister: Miss Party Mom.

WOW. I'M being used as the litmus test for how to throw parties? Well that IS annoying! As if us moms aren't already feeling judged by every woman in our lives- now we're going to act like the way we throw our kid's parties should hold any baring on us as mothers?

I guess it's time I set some things straight about being a Party Planning Mom. Maybe overdue actually.

Hear this ladies: Throwing a killer party for your kid- does NOT make you a good mom. At times, it can actually make you a really shitty one. It can completely blind you from who the party is actually for and wrap you up so deep in it- you've forgotten about LIFE and actually having one.

So if big parties are not your thing- don't throw them! Don't let Pinterest and other moms (like me) make you feel pressured in to doing something you're not great at and don't love.

I throw parties because, as I've mentioned many times before- I NEED some form of creative outlet and I happen to love throwing parties, always have. I did not start this business for my children- because I am some awesome mom who wanted them to always have the very best parties. I very much started it for myself, so that I'd be doing something I enjoyed every night when the kids went to bed.

The thought of moms (especially friends!) looking at my parties and rolling their eyes, saying, "Oh brother!" at the computer totally makes me cringe. I'm sure it's going to happen- in the same way I know friends who will never stop pinning, "Organic Must-Try Meals" or "10 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Appreciated Today"- things that literally make me want to regurgitate... Well I guess parties can do that to people too, my parties might do that to people.

I might be that mom I hate.

So in trying to ponder this new found discovery that I may be someone's "organic mom" (my version of the ultimate eye-roll) I guess my point here is that maybe us moms just need to focus on our strengths. And yes- it's probably going to annoy the next mom- SO what!

You want to grill up that green pepper and stuff the hell out of it with weird food I've never even heard of and definitely can't pronounce? Go for it. Ya, I'll still roll my eyes when you put it all over IG, FB and Twitter... but heck, if it makes you happy and you're good at it- have at it.

And I'm going to do my parties- not because I'm trying to out do anyone or be Super Party Mom. I'm just trying to be a mom who doesn't loose herself totally to wiping butts, popping Eggos and building Legos.

So you go cook your crazy meals and remember that I SUCK AT COOKING. You go run your marathon knowing that I'm WAY TOO LAZY FOR THAT. You go do anything other than throwing a killer party and remember that I probably have no idea how you even thought of that.

AND- If you want to do throw a Dora party with Walmart décor and focus on a gourmet meal... By all means we will GLADLY be at your party ready to enjoy your gourmet meal. Don't think I'm above anything because I throw my kid's "cool parties". I am still just a girl from the ghetto who had every birthday party at Pizza Hut on Inglewood Avenue. I had just as much fun there as I would have had at a the local light-up bowling alley where the "cool parties" were held.

Please remember this about your kids too, before you roll your eyes at that super annoying Pinterest party... That hopefully I didn't do.

xo Party or Die xo

kenna

Pretty much my only parenting theory.