Saturday, April 6, 2013

Two Kids. One Road Trip: Shopping in Austin with A Naughty Toddler.

On our full 4th day on our vacation to Austin, TX, the boys went to the car show and me and Miss Bird went to South Congress again to see it in the daylight. I couldn't see myself doing 2 days of car show and so I decided to do what I do best: shop and people watch.

Although I knew I was taking the harder of the two kids with me, it was obvious how we were going to divvy them up. So I had Birdie. I was trying to convince myself it was going to be fine and that she would let me look around a bit. I had the stroller, the paci, the blankie, and a positive attitude- the keys to any good mommy/toddler shopping adventure, right? Set UP for success. I had even made up my mind that clapping and singing would become me in the bad Birdie moments- all in the name of fashion.

We got there and I decided I really needed a coffee, like a real one- not a continental breakfast one. So we hopped in the only coffee line I could find at Joe's Coffee and stood there. For 25 minutes. Welcome to my first mom fail of the day. Looking back I should have gotten all of my shopping out of the way before I lost her to the naughty voice in her head. Somehow my coffee addiction outweighed my mom sense, as it usually does.

Birdie started off our wait by taking off both shoes and hucking them down the line, thankfully not hitting anyone- but definitely causing people to give me the, "get your kid under control" look. Wooorking on it people! I got down at her level and tried singing songs, doing the "where's your ears?!" game and all she screamed was, "NOO Mommy, NOO!" which was slightly embarrassing and probably feels a lot like striking out in a baseball game. 25 minutes later I have a coffee, chocolate croissant and kids water in hand and Birdie and I sit to eat. Kind of like taming a wild animal, I felt like maybe the food (her second breakfast) would tame her. It was a beautiful thought, full of imagination...

Mom Tangent: I have 2 kids. When my son was the age Birdie is (almost 2), he talked a ton- just like she does. He would crack people up and I would always say things like, "He's got SO much energy! He's non-stop!" He was like a little wind up toy. But he was a wind up toy you could redirect and turn the crank the opposite way on if you HAD too. Then I had my daughter. Same set of genes and I know I've said it but... the chick is nuts. She is a wind up toy with a mind of its own and the owner of the toy has no control over it. That toy that goes off and starts talking at 2 a.m.? Her. I hate to use the word "naughty," but if you tell Birdie to smile, she will frown. If you tell her to stop hitting her brother, she will smack you right in the face. She takes a ton of my energy and makes me so grateful for one mostly obedient child. I can't wait to say the Sinner's Prayer with Birdie, the sooner the better. I'm thinking of doing an altar call at her 2nd birthday and making it a new party trend.

Back on South Congress. At 11 a.m. a lot of the shops were starting to open up. We went in to the first and I quickly stumbled across a clearance sale with a green tee Cormac's size that said "Ginger Pride." I am totally skipping forward but later that night as we were getting ice cream at Amy's Ice Cream, a group of guys walked by and screamed, "Ginger Mafia!!" at us.  If Cormac had been in his tee, I'd have pulled off that poncho and marched him right over.

So back to me and Birdie shopping. It's going OK... and we finally get to the store I'd been waiting to enter, Tesoros. Lots of Day of the Dead stuff mixed with home decor from India. Totally up my alley and totally all breakable. As soon as we walked in I noticed how many things were at Birdie's height and knew I needed to be quick, focused and have a game plan. As I just mentioned- breakables, low shelves... I had a lot of reasons for getting in and getting out there... a ton. But hearing Birdie repeatedly scream, "Mommy Pooped, Mommy Pooped!" just wasn't one of them.

I mean, how do you prepare for that? I was so conflicted- like, "Do I deny it? Do I laugh? Do I become mother nature herself and say something along the lines of, 'Everyone poops Birdie, that's right hunny...'" Well, I didn't do any of those. I pretended like I was looking at something in deep thought. But the laughs she was getting from other shoppers? Ya, she's no idiot. She had an audience and was now going, "Yucky Mommy! Where arrre yooooou Daddy??" (What, did she want him to change me?!)

I hightailed it to the register and checked out. The only plus that came out of her accusing me of pooping in front of 25 other shoppers was that it forced me into a purchase I normally wouldn't have made. Usually I like to think about a purchase if it's something over $15. I will totally do the walk-around-and-see-if-I'm-still-thinking-about-it-in-an-hour purchase. I'm innately cheap, and because I love thrifting all "normal" price points are not normal to me.

Now let me preface the purchase. We have a boxer. It's my husbands boxer. He begged for it. And although I have NEVER liked dogs (or animals), I caved, and we've had Mohawk for 7 months. I do not enjoy having a dog. It is a lot of work, even if it is not my dog! But in the last 2 months I have somehow let myself become Crazy Dog Decor Lady, especially if it is something that has a boxer on it. Totally dorky and I so know it. So when I walked to that back wall and saw that one collaged boxer pillow staring right at me, something deep within me whispered, "must have it." The 17 year-old me would be mortified that the 32 year-old me was making dog print purchases. It is even worse than Cat Lady collecting cat junk, because I am a collector of dog stuff... and I don't even like the dog.

Now, like the blanket, at the end of the day when Shawn saw a pillow sticking out of a bag he said, "Another pillow Kenna?!" However, this time when I pulled it out, he just grinned a big grin and I knew it was the best $29 I've ever spent.

I got to feeling better about Birdie's antics, when later on at the Capital it was "Daddy Pooped!" which was so much funnier. I mean, the Capital building is like a library and she was saying Daddy and it was suddenly hilarious to me and hello, of course the people at Tesoros were laughing... I mean a baby accusing her parents of pooping? She's ironic and ahead of her years.

Dinner at The Mercado Tex Mex Restaurant was amazing. I had a much-needed margarita and Birdie spent the night dipping her chips in salsa... then crying... then dipping again... then crying again... She may have a sense of irony, but logic she has not yet developed....

I have been working up a list of my "Top 10 Favorite Things About Austin" and I hope to post it Sunday. For anyone who in to car shows I will be showing off some of the prettiest cars on the blog tomorrow. Believe it or not Hot Pink and Glitter Purple are very popular paint jobs and pretty much the only ones I give my time to.

I guess I will actually go to the show, I mean- Shawn said something about it being what we came for? Riiiiight.

                                                                   xo Road Trip or Die xo


  1. that girl is bonkers (I'm trying to gear up for the inevitability of our second being the same), but she's gonna be a helluva catch when she's older. :) when you get home, Jonas and I were wondering if we could come over and cook dinner for you guys sometime?

  2. This post made my day. So funny!

  3. Seriously dying laughing. And as far as animal printed home goods go that pillows a pretty sweet score.

    1. I know, I love it and so glad I dropped the money on it!

  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


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