Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Art of Attending an Event Planner's Party {Part Two}

If you are here by chance and didn't read PART ONE of this post, please hault your reading. I have a big ol' intro over in the opening post that is a must read. You shouldn't have even read that last line-you should be over at Part One by now!

Okay, good- you're back.

Shall we continue? Maybe you should grab a glass of wine...
It's 10am? A shot will do.

Custom Wine Glasses by Vinyl Eloquence
Let me set the stage... You're arriving at the party- on time because you now know how important this is. As a fellow party planner/friend so keenly brought to my attention- "Lateness is not some 'quirk', drinking wine with a straw is a 'quirk'... Lateness is just rude."

You put your bags and gift down and head over to where the party is happening. You're impressed. You can't imagine why on earth anyone would want to put this much effort in to a single day. At this point, we might be wondering that very same thing.

You notice someone. She's probably dressed in black and seems to be taking her job very seriously. It's...
Guests either love or hate seeing a professional photographer at a party. If you love it- great! Go photobomb some pics (except the close ups on my dessert table, I'll kill you). If you hate it- please remind yourself that the hostess is also a party planner who has worked endless hours getting the party to look a certain way. There's a chance she didn't sleep the night before, or if she did- that she woke up at 6am to set up. In a nut shell, this is months of hard work coming to fruition. We NEED great photos, without them- our work is nothing.

San Diego photographer Maria Healy capturing Tania Fischer Designs dessert table.
So if you have to wait a minute before biting in to that shimmery chocolate covered Oreo- wait two minutes. If you have to be a stealth ninja about getting that handmade felt flower in to your daughter's hair so that a pic can be taken of all of the girls wearing their adorable party favors... BE THAT NINJA. And please don't complain about it.

Look on the bright side- you're probably going to see some pretty adorable photos of your kid with their close friends floating around social media in a few weeks- high res and everything! (You're welcome.)

Photo by my girl Christina at Moments Captured Photography located on the Central Coast of CA


Help me out here... When does one eat dessert? Is it before a meal, or after- I'm forgetting? NO, I'M NOT.

Do not show up to a party that happens to have a dessert bar and start raiding it upon entrance. Usually, if there's a table specifically for desserts, you can safely assume there's some food being served as well. Look for it. Stuff a hot dog in your face- have a soda. Wait until the hostess announces that the dessert table is open- which isn't usually very long in to the party. If you have a toddler and they're losing it at the sight of cake pops, (I have this child) ask the hostess if there are any extra hidden ones he/she can sneak in to the bathroom or something.

While I don't want guests to feel like they have to watch their child the entire party, please make sure they are not doing things like hiding under the dessert table playing hide and seek. Because if that cake falls over, I will stand behind the old adage, "It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to."

Part of the fun for a party planner is showing off the beauty of her work. In an ideal world for us- every guest would get to admire and Instagram (with a proper hashtag) the custom cookies you had made or the Jello cups you so carefully layered. All we ask for is about 30 minutes (give or take a few) for those inevitable late arrivers to get in a peak at the dessert table. It takes months to design and just under 2 minutes to devour. Just give us our half hour.


Really? Because that is so annoying. Do party planners love and get inspired by Pinterest? Of course we do! And sometimes (gasp!) we even use an idea or two- I do for sure! However- that doesn't mean that every cute idea at a party planner's party is a "Pinterest idea". We're creative ladies- promise! We have ideas too! I for one was EVEN creative before Pinterest (I even wrote a post on it)!

Unless totally sincere and interested in how "Pinterest idea" was made- we really don't wan't to hear the ever popular, "I SO saw that idea on Pinterest!" yelled from across the party. Please remember, the idea still took time and effort to make- and if you've ever seen a Pinterest Fail- probably a small amount of talent.

Other sayings like, "I WISH I had spare time in my hectic life to throw my kid a party like this!" are equally annoying... and with the right tone... I don't know, condescending? We don't just have 3 extra hours a day to hang out and craft. We're moms as well- which is kind of a full time job! We stay up late and wake up early to do something we love. So please avoid being passive aggressive because I can read between the lines. I don't walk in to your Book Club and say, "I really wish I had time to sit around and read books all day!" DO I?


Unless you are Lady Gaga and trying to see if you want to hire me to throw your 30th Birthday Extravaganza- do not show up with groupies.

If your 9 year old child's name was the only one on the invite- do not send your 4 year with him. Do not bring your neighbor's kid who, "really wanted to come too"... Or some random cousins. Chances are the party is limited on space, favors, food and desserts.

If you feel like it was an oversight your other child wasn't invited: it wasn't. But if you insist it was, then kindly ask the hostess and be prepared to hear, "Sorry- we're only having 10 children for this party". Do not just drop off extra kids.

There is a loop hole here- because to be honest, I am actually ok with an extra child coming in the event of something necessary/helpful/you have out-of-town visitors. When I was on bed rest with my daughter, my son went to random birthday parties with other moms who's kids happened to be invited and I have no doubt my friends asked first, explaining the situation. All we ask is that you ask the hostess in advance if, "little Jonny can come because I've already committed to watching him this day." While we may not be able to bust out a custom made favor- we'd love to be given the opportunity to scrounge up something!


On the super off chance that we've done some majorly terrible calculating (I can't even imagine- seriously) please don't make a huge deal about it. As in, kindly ask the hostess in private if there might be any other favors because your child didn't get one. Don't start yelling, "Where's _________'s favor?! I don't see it with the rest!" Just....... don't.

And if you must be angry about that missing favor, have your kid go snatch it out of that uninvited cousin's hand.

Also ask yourself, "Did I RSVP?"

In conclusion... We really do enjoy throwing parties. Maybe too much you're thinking! May-be. But we caaaan't stop... And we woooon't stop. We love to entertain guests and show off our skill just like a runner loves to run in a marathon. We've spent a lot of time getting ready for the party in hopes of sharing a great day of celebration with you- because we love what we do and hope you will enjoy it too.

xo Party or Die xo



  1. I was all ready to be offended by this post but I'm happily relieved that there are no photos of Valentino or Massimo grabbing a cake pop before we sang "Happy Birthday" to Cormac...actually that would be Amy and Lynette grabbing a cake pop upon our late entrance! But come on? I was late b/c I was WORKING....isn't the adage: "better late than never?" still true or not when attending event planner's parties? I adore the first post on RSVP-ing...I hope a LOT of people read it and will change their ways. Having just invited 120 people to a party, the RSVP thing was an absolute disappointment. Fo' sure! Party on Party Mom! You sure do throw one heck of a party!

    1. Amy, I agree with driving home the art of RSVP. What has happened to people and their manners?

  2. I hope I’m not the only one that sang the Miley reference as I read it. And then thought of the Jimmy and Justin SNL hashtag skit. #random?


  3. Are all cousins "random cousins"? Or are those special cousins?

    1. In my [humble, oh so humble] opinion- "random cousins" are cousins you never even really knew the child had... and them come to find out their mother's were college roomates or something very non-actual-cousin like. You my friend are VERY in the clear!! :)

  4. LOVE!!!!! You nailed it sister! Spoken like a true children's party planner! I have written a few rants like these myself a couple times. :)

  5. Love, love, love it. Every bit is true. Thank you for always saying what I'm thinking and making me laugh the whole time.

  6. AMEN you speak the truth for many LOVED both these posts.

  7. Events are organized with such an effort and presence of guests is very important. Getting late is not an option as everything is organized according to the guest’s arrival time.
    Event Organizer

  8. Hahhahhhaaa... you really know how to lay it out there! Don't hold back EVER. I have totally done the text invites...hahhaaha. Slapped some candles into the homemade birthday cake and put some chips and dip out while the kids run around the park! If only I had an ounce of the energy you have. Can you just plan every one of my 4 kids birthday parties for the rest of time???

    Wild Poppy Herbs

  9. Hey girl heeeeyyy... I see you found my blog... If you think this is blunt, we're really just getting started ;) And yes I'll envy your mellow party ways and you can envy mine... I mean if an herbalist was out there throwing intense parties... It just wouldn't be right.


" "