I'll get to the blog title in a minute (of course I'm going to have to catch you up to speed on how I actually put on roller skates and skated around a roller rink today... in the middle of party season...) But the beginning of this post actually starts with this post I stumbled across by Jaclyn at Peckled. And even though she gives her husband a nickname (oh, I've got nicknames!) I really fell in love with her writing, and her actually- I can just tell she's one of those crazy sweet people (and crazy talented which doesn't hurt either).
In summary, her post talked about how the view from their kitchen window has green hills for days and days (see picture in her post) and it took a plumber coming over to fix their kitchen sink for her to realize just how amazing her view was. He stood there and stared at it and commented how he'd always longed for a view like that... Nothing like a stranger to point out your blessings to you....
So I read that story and it's been with me for days. Funny how writing can do that.
I too have a home I take for granted. It's a house that though I love- I am always complaining about. I hate the closets (or lack of closets?), both bathrooms need updating... the carpet needs replacing... and the list never ends.
Then there's our backyard. I've complained about that for 2 years since we purchased our house and now when I look at it, it's almost perfect. It's huge, with lush green grass, an amazing play structure that was given to us for free, a chicken coop full of chickens that produce grade A eggs I am constantly burning, and a new patio area my husband just laid with his own two hands. But does anyone hear me talking about how much I love our updated backyard? Of course not. I'm busy. Too busy to even notice really.
And it's ironic, oh it always is... because I wasn't fulfilled when I was at a stand-still creatively the first year of my son's life, so I decided to start throwing parties to give me an outlet. Big parties. And then I decided to launch Miss Party Mom. And not that MPM has anything on other event planners in terms of a crazy schedule- but for me, with my small kids, and my waitressing job- I am currently overwhelmed with my Summer party schedule. I am averaging 2 parties a month and because I live for teeny tiny details, I spend time on things no party planner should. Things that keep me up way too late and things no one but me notices. I'm working these crazy late nights which makes me short with my kids and begging for their mercy so I can get something done during the day (and let me tell you, begging a 2 year old for mercy is weird....). I know that if I dropped it all (which I've considered) and just went back to obsessively cleaning my house and making sure my kids looked perfect at all times, I'd again, drown.
And so, it seems... I'm unfulfilled if I'm not being creative, and too busy for life when I am being creative... hmmm. I've never been good at balance... the word actually makes me laugh an uncomfortable laughter.
I am totally aware of the fact that I'm missing almost daily that we own a great house that a few of my friends would love to own and a fantastic backyard that is perfect for throwing my crazy parties. I take things for granted I never thought I would because I am busy... too busy to even take note. Biblically speaking, I am literally a Martha, I have always been a Martha... and although I would love for that to mean Stewart, I cannot even cook good eggs... so that's out.
I am so busy that I say no to a lot of get togethers with friends, Dowton Abbey Girls Nights, lounging by the pool on a hot day, coffee dates, etc... all because I am just trying to get that next detail done for my next party. The beach seems silly to me, and I live on the coast of Cali where the beaches are glorious. But to me, the beach seems unproductive... and sandy. And sand is messy and I have enough messes to clean up in my life.
I got off of work today at my waitressing job and met my husband and kids at the West Coast Kustoms car show we've been putting our 59' Chevy wagon in for 7 years together. A car show that is now- most perfectly, held in our little town at the fairgrounds.
And unlike any other year, they had a skating rink set up for all car show attendees. Do you think I wanted to skate? You REALLY don't know me if you think I wanted to skate. I wanted to get a big fat pretzel with cheese and a ton of salt on it and walk around that car show mindlessly, maybe picking up a souvenir tee or two and instagramming all of the hot pink cars. But that rink called my son's name and all I could think was, "Why on earth is there a roller skating rink set up at a car show?" and, "Why the heck aren't the pretzels here like last year?!"
I pulled it together and did the thing any good mom would have done and we got those skates on our feet and we went for it. I got him out there and he could barely even stand. It was a task to get him off of his butt and on to the skates even. We struggled for a good 35 minutes and the whole time Cormac persevered and, although frustrated, he wanted to keep going and going, fall after fall.
Our close friends got there and entertained Cormac for a few minutes so I could, gasp! go skating without him, and actually- skate. Me... skate? The music was blaring, "Baby Got Back" was on (my jam), the disco lights were shining and in a way, kind of calling my name. It was the first time in a while I've done something totally unplanned that isn't just the means to an end... so that I can go work on another party.
I'm not saying I was spinning around in circles in the center of the rink with my head back having a crazy, "I'M TOO BUSY FOR FUUUUN!" moment... I'm just saying, it felt good to get out there and think for a few minutes about all the things I have in my life and the fact that my son just fell on his butt for 35 minutes and never cried and just wanted to hear me tell him how good he was, even though, we both knew- he was terrible... I daily take these things for granted because I am busy. Probably TOO busy.
And although I love planning parties it shouldn't be my entire life... because I have a life, a rather great one actually.
So thanks for the reminder, Jaclyn.
xo Party or Die xo
|And they're pretty terrible cell phone pics, because if you don't plan on making great memories, I guess you don't plan on bringing your great camera...|