Leaving Santa Barbara...

In a way I've been afraid to blog for a while now... Because I know myself so well. I know how attached I get to my stories and that once they are typed I cannot NOT post them. And I've been crazy terrified of what stories I might decide to type. It's like I'm scared of our truth and the messiness of life and the last year because I haven't wanted to hurt or offend anyone.

Part of being married to a pastor, even being just the proverbial "youth pastor's wife" is knowing when to shut up. This is something that comes with the territory and has never been exactly in my wheel house.

I am going to write this from my perspective as a wife, mom, business owner, friend and lover of Jesus.

The last 8 months have been hard for us. Like tears and snot dripping from the nose hard (well that part's mainly been me).

Ending 2013 in Orcutt and starting 2014 in Santa Barbara, Shawn and I felt like we had the world at our finger tips. We may have been leaving our beloved Orcutt... A town we had grown fond of over 5 years; birthed both babies in, purchased a home in and had made life-long friends in... But we were moving to a place with "city life", the beach as our front yard and back in to the church denomination we came from- all things we yearned for.

The idea of Santa Barbara seemed perfect... Everything was looking up for us and the possibilities seemed endless. Location wise, it was an hour closer to our family in LA and it wasn't far from our friends in Orcutt- a win win all around.

Fast forward to now, 15 months later and bluntly put: Santa Barbara hasn't worked out for us. I feel like when I've said that statement to keep things light to those who've asked why we're moving... I get a look of complete bewilderment from a lot of people. Which I get... It's literally a gorgeous place to live (sandwiched between the beach and the mountains). "The Littlest Big City in the World" they say. How could you not be drawn to that, it all sounds likely perfect. Perfect... There is a lot of perfect in this town and well...

We are not perfect. We don't try to be perfect. We embrace the imperfect... Hell, we eat Hot N' Ready Pizza more times a month than I care to admit.

Making friends in this town (and I realize now that we were spoiled before) has been painfully hard. For two extroverts who were used to dinner in groups on average 2 times a week... This has been a downright lonely year for us.

As for the people we do call friends here, I am so thankful to have met you and shared church or Spanish Immersion or feeling like out-casts together. The few friends we've made have been life savers, and I truly mean that- you know who you are.

Overall though... In my 34 years of life, I have never felt like more of an outcast since moving here. It has rocked my confidence level in ways I can't explain. Walking in to my daughter's preschool has at times given me something a little short of a panic attack. Not that I don't love the teachers and the actual program... But going to the school has been like living in the movie Mean Girls. And I can't sit with them, just trust me. (Don't worry- they don't know I have a blog).

Moving on!

As much as I love our cute little bungalow home... Living in it the last 6 months has been the most one of the most unideal set ups a family of four (+ dog + classic car) could imagine. A few months after we moved in the house was sold to a new owner who decided adding a third house in between the front house (ours) and the back house would be a great idea. Our garage was torn down and we were completely stripped of our adorable backyard as scaffolding went up in it to build the new home. Yes, you can practically touch the home being built from our back porch. If you knew how much rent we paid for the area of Santa Barbara we live in, you'd likely laugh at us. And please don't ask why we didn't just buy a house... Google "Santa Barbara housing prices" for that answer. I don't want to say it was NEVER going to happen... but there was a 99.999% chance of that never ever happening. Like, ever.

My business has not "taken off" like we were sure it would. If anything- people from Orcutt like missed me or something and my clientele picked up there. Oh... The irony! I couldn't get people in Santa Barbara to hire me to save my life this last year. It is a very loyal customer base- if I heard this once I heard it a million times. "Once you're in, you're in"... "Give it three years" and "donate parties to the rich people"... Welp. No. None of those are going to work. It hasn't happened and it's been incredibly humbling.

Lastly... The job (Youth Pastor) Shawn came for. While in the end, Santa Barbara has not been the fit we were hoping for... I've learned a lot about my faith through the church and will never regret our decision to come here because of that.

As some of you know I was raised in a charismatic/fundamentalist church. In my late 20's and early 30's I came to resent so much of that fact. I decided I wanted to be, "the opposite kind of Christian" as the church I was raised in. I settled on loving God but [without realizing it completely] hating most Christians. I switched political parties, I stopped doing "cliche Christian things" (like Beth Moore studies)... I made a point to let people know that I was not one of "them". I became bitter towards "the Home School Christians", "the No-Harry-Potter-Christians", "The No-Santa Christians"... It is something I still struggle with but have come a long way with in the last year.

The church we came to Santa Barbara for did something no other church I've attended has done. It showed me a side of Christianity I wanted... And it did it in a healthy way. There wasn't hate or even strife towards the more conservative home-schooling, Santa, Christians... It just wasn't even in the culture of the church. The church embraced deep issues (much too deep for this blog) I hadn't seen Christians at a church I'd attended care about yet.

The problem is... I also learned this year that deep down in my soul- I am still a charismatic... Attending a hymn-loving traditional church. I have a NEED to clap my hands and raise them if I feel lead. I cannot control these aspects of my being, I try to and I fail. If you gave me a flag I cannot promise I would not wave that bad boy in to the air like I just don't care! (Well, maybe not now- but give me 30 years and I AM that lady).

Somehow (God probably had something to do with it) being in a liturgical church the last year has not made me bitter or hateful- it's just opened my eyes to the fact that there are indeed MANY different ways to worship. None is "right"... Just so so different.

I feel like this year has helped Shawn and I figure out our place in ministry and where God is calling us. This has not been an easy decision, if you knew how much I HATED moving you would understand even more how hard of a decision this was to make. It has come with tears and disagreements, utter confusion and so much prayer...

In the end we've decided to return home to the South Bay (Los Angeles) this summer and figure out our next steps there.

We have a road trip lined up after Cormac graduates Kinder- and we're planning to visit lots of friends all over the place. Cormac is on 3 Spanish Immersion waiting lists in the South Bay (none that will top his current school, Adalante Charter School!) and we're prayerful that the Lord will line something up after we return from the road.

If you think of us, we covet your prayers for strength in our marriage during the move (!!!), clarity with our next employment steps... and for our kids to not be totally screwed up from all of this moving.

We're excited for the next journey and looking forward to being near both of our families (babysitters galore, amen hallelujah) and connecting with all of our old friends and introducing our kids to their kids.

We're coming for you LA... I hope you're ready ;)

The O'Briens

(I've got to say that our landlord giving us a 60 Day Notice last night- with a move-out date of exactly Shawn's last day of work... Kind of a nice reminder that we're on the right track. Don't ever ask God for signs if you don't want them... Noted.)

Why You Can Do Better Than a TOP TEN BABY NAME

There are totally certain subjects smart bloggers should never touch with a ten foot pole... And this is definitely one of them! So why am I poking this topic with a 1" stick? Because no one ever said I was a smart blogger... DUH! ALSO, this is my 100th blog post- therefore I decided a little controversy was in order... to keep things jazzy!

The guys over at Wait But Why wrote an amazing piece on baby naming a couple months back that had me giddy and giggling the entire time I read it... They NAILED IT. And everyone I know read it and agreed with its awesomeness. This post will be much less statistical and much more opinion oriented- I'm not trying to compete with perfection!

In order to give it some validity (and share the blame for pissing so many people off)... I have wrangled in my BFF, my bestie, my road dawg in life. We've been friends for something like 15 years and in that time she has proved to be the only other person (ok, there's you Karissa) who I know loves the process of baby naming as much as I do. SO- I introduce to you... Kelsey Anderson! She will be helping me with my name lists- don't get too attached, you might hate us both by the end ;)

Aren't we cute?

A few weeks after reading the Wait But Why post my three year old daughter and I had an amazing conversation- sealing the deal on this post. I asked her about a girl in her class, who I'd noticed she'd been playing with a lot (I will guard this precious child's name with my life- mainly for fear that her parents might find me and have me killed.) Anyway, I said to her, "Birdie- Are you becoming good friends with _______?" And without skipping a beat she said to me, "Which _______?! There's too many of them in my class!" Of course at first I lol'd like any good mother with an ironic sense of humor would (because even my three year old knows when a name has hit Top 10!!)... And then I really started thinking about names and why people get so stuck on certain ones.

I mean- NAMES... they're like... A BIG DEAL! I have personally loved names since as long as I can remember. I vividly remember having twin dolls as a young kid and giving them the names Zoe & Chloe (I've always been a trendsetter- what can I say?)

I love "helping" expectant mother's find names (and with a whopping 6 friends currently pregnant right now- I'm throwing ideas out and annoying every one of them!). I love learning the reasons behind a chosen name and I love Googling the meaning of a name. But there is nothing that I love more than finding out the ranking of a name. Yes- ranking. As in- I want to know just how popular/trendy a name is. Usually when I hear a name I know right away if it's within the top 100. That's easy. In this post we're going to dissect the trendy ones and alert you to the up & comers... How fun!

Before we get in to our "stats" let us assure/warn you: WE ARE NOT PROFESSIONALS! I (Kenna) personally don't even know how people gather actual statistical data therefore this is all mainly our own opinions gathered via the internet as well as what we are hearing all around us in our kid's classrooms and park dates (Kenna in California/Kelsey in Wisconsin- and don't forget the Facebook birth announcements!) This info should only be taken seriously if you like us, and even then only if you yourselves dislike trendy names.

HERE. WE. GO.

The Overtly Trendy Name
You've always loved the name, I know. I had some names I loved as a child too... But miraculously I was able to find another one when it came to naming my child. Let me assure you of something, you can find another one too. You don't have to go with the name you've loved since you were 10- just because you've loved it since you were 10! A lot of new names have appeared- it's a new world for names as a matter of fact! While we're at it... Just stay away from the top 20 okay? Do us all a favor and branch out.

Of course no one (but us) is going to disagree with you when you shout it to the world you're naming your son Aiden, Jack or Noah (the 3 I hear the most)-  everyone's heard them so many times at this point they're par for the course. But have you thought about the fact that it might be more awesome to think of a name that your child can claim all to themselves- at least in their classroom?

Now in case you're really not in the name game at all- this is what we're humbly recommending you NOT name your baby in 2014 and on (there shall be a gag order given to these names until maybe 2030ish) unless you REALLY enjoy the thought of your child always having their last name initial attached to that lovely first name... Carrying it in to adulthood... "Hi, this is Bella! Bella Smith. No... No, the one with blond hair. Short blond hair.... YES! That one! Hi, how are you?"

Boys:

• Noah
• Liam
• Jacob
• Mason
• William
• Ethan
• Michael
• Alexander
• Jayden/Jaden
• Daniel
• Elijah
• Aiden
• James
• Benjamin
• Matthew
• Jackson
• Logan
• David
• Anthony
• Joseph

Girls:

• Sophia/Sofia
• Emma
• Olivia
• Isabella/Bella
• Ava
• Mia
• Emily
• Abigail
• Madison
• Elizabeth
• Charlotte
• Avery
• Chloe
• Ella
• Harper
• Aubrey
• Amelia
• Addison
• Evelyn
• Grace

The Sneaky Trendy Name
These are the names ranging from rankings 30-100 (or that are rising at warp speed into the Top 100). They might not be in your face right now but good lord on high they are coming to a baby near you soon. Example from years past: the name Madison. Have you ever met a Madison's mom who swears they'd never heard the name and then their baby hit Kinder and was in a sea of Madison's (or it's more popular alias: Maddie)? This genuinely happened to that name in 1997. At record speed in went from the ranking of 50 (1995) to Top 10 (1997). SO BE AWARE! That's all we're saying! Don't just think you're the only person in the world with a name idea... RESEARCH! (This isn't the 90's where you actually had to put in a big effort to find out if a name was popular!)

Another sneaker name was Grayson. I remember a mom-to-be actually telling me that she "made the name up". Ya. You and every other mom in LA County in 2008.

You might know this list like the back of your hand based on filling out your kid's Valentine cards last year... But just in case- currently, this is what we're looking at (in random order fyi)...

Boys:

• Asher/Ash
• Eli
• Ryder
• Finn/Finley
• Quinn
• Elliot
• Sebastian
• Kaden/Caden
• Declan
• Bennett
• Wyatt
• Luke
• Hunter
• Max
• Oliver
• Jaxon (be aware of those crazy spellings only adding to the trendiness of a name!)
• Carter
• Everett
• Cash
• Silas
• Landon
• Emmett
• Cade/Kade
• Gavin
• Levi
• Hudson
• Jude
• Chase
• Ryder
• Easton
• Weston
• Zachary
• Gabriel

Girls:

• Nora/Norah
• Ruby
• Violet
• Finley/Finlee
• Zoe/Zoey
• Quinn
• Gianna/Giana
• Iris
• Piper
• Mila
• Brooklyn
• Scarlett
• Hadley
• Vivian
• Ellie/Elle
• Savannah
• Penelope/Penny
• Sadie
• Alice
• Paisley/Paislee
• Aria
• London/Londyn (enough with the 'Y' already, people!)
• Reese/Reece/Rhys
• Adelaide/Adaline/Adalyn
• Hazel
• Delilah
• Eden
• Olive
• Stella

The Upcoming Trendy Name
In no way are we telling you to avoid these names- if you notice I have even placed my own daughter's name on the list. All we are doing is warning you- they are on the rise and have entered the top 1000 (or are set to this year). Don't think you're crazy original and go spouting off to all your friends how it came to you in some name vision. No- you actually saw it in People Magazine under the "Celebrity Births of the Week" section... (Or was that just me?) One thing we've learned in the last few years is that NO NAME IS SAFE. Even when I'd (Kenna) researched my kids names to infinity and beyond... I never thought Birdie would became an "up and coming" name on Baby Center (the most popular name-finding website). Because had I have known that- it would've broken my "No Top 1000" rule (which is on track to happen when the social security list for 2014 is released!) Fun fact: her real name is Roberta- so take that Top 1000!

Announcement by Hello Love

Boys:

• Braxton
• Brixton
• Sawyer
• Rowan
• Gunner
• Stryker
• Maverick
• Axel
• Archer
• Memphis
• Atlas
• Gideon
• Atticus
• Allister
• Dash
• Phoenix
• Rex
• Ace
• River
• Enzo
• Beckett
• Seamus 
• Luca/Lucca
• Duke
• Royal
• Nixon
• Cassius
• Bo
• Thatcher
• Nash

Girls:

• Ellery
• Ellody
• Birdie
• Farrah
• Story
• Romy
• Tallulah
• Isla
• Greta
• Braelyn/Braelynn
• Luna
• Eve/Evie
• Lilia
• Gwyneth/Gwendolyn/Gwen
• India 
• Indie
• Collins
• Karis
• Magnolia
• Pearl
• Teagan
• Hattie
• Lux/Luxx
• Freya
• Willow
• Phoebe
• Fiona
• Ivory
• Juniper
• Poppy 
• Wren
• Clementine

The I'm-Going-With-a-Classic-and-I-Don't-Care Name

You're dead set on the name George. I mean if it's good enough for the Princess, it's good enough for you. Hey... You know what? Bless it. One of Cormac's best friend's name is William and his mom acknowledges his classically popular name with pride. Just be sure that you can own the fact that it's not only a classic... But most likely very trendy too. And can ya do us just one favor? Get a little crazy with the middle name... Huh? Can ya?

This years 3 "Big Classics":

Boys:

• Charlie
• Samuel
• Henry

Girls:

• Anna
• Lucy
• Caroline

The Celeb-Kid-Name-Gone-Trendy-That-Will-Conjure-Up-Image-of-Celeb-Kid-Every-Time 
Look- if The Pitts have named their kid something- they won, you loose- find something else. I (Kelsey) was actually very interested in the name Pax until Angie got her hands on it... I moved on!

Every time I hear the name Maddox this is what I think of.

• Jayden
• Maddox
• Matilda
• Knox
• Apple
• Kingston
• Coco
• Moses
• Everly
• Shiloh

Hello baby girl Maxwell Drew! We didn't see that one coming.

The Boy Name as Girl Name
This trend has been around for awhile. I mean my parents got my name (Kelsey) out of the boy section of the baby name book. But more recently this trend rocketed into popularity when model/actress Jaime King started going by James. Now I find myself asking my kids, "Which Ryan? Boy Ryan or girl Ryann?" This is also a big one that parents think they made up, then encounter 3 other "girl Jameses" in play group.

Here are a few we've heard this year...

• Charlie/Charlee
• Elliott
• Emerson
• Michael
• Ashton
• Rowan
• Ace
• Presley/Preslee
• Austin
• Cash/Kash
• Landon/Landyn 
• Axel/Axyl/Axl
• Luca/Lucca
• Maverick
• Nico
• Jameson
• James
• Ryan/Ryann
• Maxwell
• Brett/Brette
• Wyatt

How to Thoroughly Research a Name...
You didn't think we were just going to bitch and moan about a bunch of names and then not provide you with resources for finding names we like more, did you? No way! Of course there are plenty of great books out there I'm sure- but at this point I think it's pretty safe to say that what's in the books is on the internet...

Here are our favorite naming websites...

www.babycenter.com
www.nameplayground.com
www.nameberry.com
www.parents.com/baby-names
www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames
www.babynamewizard.com
www.babynames.com
www.babble.com/baby-names
www.deadspin.com/american-baby-names-are-somehow-getting-even-worse

Researching Names Based on Cultural Preference...
When I (Kenna) was pregnant with Cormac, I was dead set on giving him an Irish name. Likewise, my friend Amy (who's married to an Italian man) would only consider Italian names for her four boys: Giacomo, Luciano, Valentino and Massimo (I helped her with that last one!)

If your goal is to stay true to your roots- the easiest way to find a name within your cultural preference is to find a good website dedicated to it... Exactly how I found the name Cormac!

Irish
Scottish
English
Italian
African
Nordic
Greek

In closing...

You've finished the post and somehow we've managed to take down at least 3 names in your immediate family or extended... And here's the deal. We still love kids with trendy names- in fact some of my (Kenna) kid's favorite friends to play with are Liam, Noah and Ava. While we do not in anyway, shape or form CONDONE these names for 2014 & on... We vow to still love the babies even if you choose to ignore us. Well, that's kind of a lie because I don't even really like other people's babies/children in general... I mean, my own push their luck at times... But anyway- we will still appreciate them as human beings...?

Before you huff and puff and type your angry comments just remember that this entire post was written mainly to make name snobs laugh  provoke thought when choosing your sweet little precious' name... And hopefully go viral, duh.

NOW GO NAME YOUR BABY!

[Practically] Baby Name Experts,
Kenna (#997) & Kelsey (#306)

SheKnows.com has some great naming insight!

The Summer I Decided to be an Awesome Mom

I honestly can't even remember how I ever had time to run a blog. My days right now are jam packed every. single. day. The "blogging time" I used to keep in my life just isn't there anymore... And in a one way it's so freeing. If I'm honest I actually never had time to sit and blog. I've always been busy- I was born busy. I'm an closet overcommitter in the worst way possible.

But I used to MAKE time for the blog- literally shoving it in to my day, where it did not fit. Blogging at the most inopportune times because I had to- I was committed to being a "blogger". Most times I would I sit and write in the mornings while the kids were up and needing my attention (a great way to start the morning!). I'd have a subject I needed to get out that I was too tired to finish the night before and so I'd ignore the kids and spit out the blog. I'd turn in to "mean blogging mom" for about 2 hours, trying my best to edit it (with my non-literature background) and spending copious amounts of time uploading all my supporting photos. On most occasions shoving blogging in to a day turned me in to somewhat of a Hulk like figure where if anything got in my way or line of consciousness I'd likely loose my mind.

I've mentioned on here many times that prior to having kids, I was never the type of woman who dreamed about her future children. I didn't have names picked out or outfits saved in a hope chest. Prior to getting married I wasn't even sure if I wanted kids because I had such a strong desire for being a successful career woman and doing things.... like blogging. And blogging well. Often times today, I want nothing more than to just sit and blog. Or create something without distraction. But that is not my lot in life right now. My lot in life, by my own doing- is to stay home with the kids with a loose goal of trying to raise a couple of decent humans. As much as I love to work (seriously, I am a classic work-a-holic) and plan parties (the ultimate work)... I'm finally owning the fact that I desire more to be in control of how my kids are raised. (I am also a classic control freak.)

I decided this summer that while the kids were going to be home with me, I wasn't going to be my infamous "mean blogging mom" self who didn't have time for books or legos while I was writing. Instead I made a conscious decision to try and be my most present version of mom yet. I was going to try and embrace new things that most moms loved and have somehow skipped over me. (I blame my childhood or something.)

All in all I must say, summer '14 was pretty amazing. I was pretty amazing. As a mom. I was actually a pretty amazing mom this summer. Such a crazy statement because in all honesty motherhood does not come naturally to me. I am the last one to ever call myself amazing in the mom category. You have never heard me gush about motherhood or breastfeeding or all of the crap that usually makes me want to run far, far away from a mom group (or unfollow an IGer).

But this summer- this summer I kind of killed it. Sure, there were a few rough days while Shawn took two week long trips- but for the most part we had a great two and a half months full of beach days (I hate the beach), exploring new parks (hated slightly less that the beach), a million trips to the zoo (I now know the animals by name... I hate animals), swimming at the YMCA (I hate swimming and pretty much water in general) and so many trips to Yogurtland the employees would talk to us like we were old friends... (I love Yogurtland). Oh- and aside from that one trip to the Y where the water was actually below zero and I was terribly cranky about it- I don't think the kids would ever guess that I didn't love the beach, pool, parks and zoo. What I'm trying to say is that I harnessed the ability to focus on them instead of the sand all over my car, my ruined curly wet hair, and those park kids I have no control of who bring weapons to fight with (Hey- little shit! Put away the sword and try the monkey bars, eh?)

As of this week, both kids are back in school. Although I was so ready for Cormac to be in Kindergarten full time- like truly very ready -without an ounce of hesitation in sending him, I still spent half of his first day looking at old pics of him and making Instagram photo collages of him on his #firstdayofschool. Which made me feel universally connected to moms everywhere... A complete and total rarity.

With the kids both back in school and a whopping 12 hours a week to myself without anyone asking me for juice (and only one child a chunk of the rest of the time) I've realized once again that I live a busy life and there's just no two ways about it. I like to act like we're free to hang out anytime because I love coming across all mellow like that. But with networking for MPM, coaching Cormac's AYSO team, volunteer work for his school... I'm coming to the realization that- as I once read on an Instagram bio: "Wife. Mom. Blogger. Addicted to Busy." YES. I AM ADDICTED TO BUSY. If I had the mellow life I'm so desperate to convince you we lead... I'm pretty sure I'd be bored to tears. I love busy. I love projects. I love having full, productive days.

Which is all the more reason I'm happy that this summer I used my powers for good and was addicted-to-busy with the kids. Because I could have pumped out blogs, sewing projects and styled shoots. The work-a-holic in me would have loved that.

But I didn't- and I'm proud of myself for that. See, you can teach an old dog new tricks!

xo Party or Die xo

kenna

(And our foreign exchange student Mo came to visit, so that was awesome.)

Single Parenting and On The Verge of Losing It

We're on Day 5 of Shawn (aka daddy) being gone and it's just in the last two hours I've decided I might in fact loose my mind. I lasted a lot longer than I anticipated actually, not feeling even an ounce of resentment until today. And then it kicked in with a fierceness. The kids are not listening to me at all anymore. They've completely moved on from thinking I am any sort of authority figure in their lives. They're teamed up to beat me and guess what? They're winning. I am Brazil. They are Germany.

Birdie drew this earlier in the week and said, "Momma, it's you!" I should have taken it as an omen.

Two hours ago I suddenly felt like crying on the way home from a picnic with friends at the Mission. Not crying because I miss Shawn (is that mean? I don't mean it to be) but because I NEED A BREAK. I've said before that I don't know how military wives do it. I don't know how single parents do it. I don't know how moms (or dads) give of themselves all day every day and not want to just scream at their kids and random childless people at Costco who run to the "I can help the next guest in line over here!" register. Hey- asshole! Look at me- I have two kids poking each other's eyes out over here? Throw me a bone?

{And if Birdie kicks the wall while she should be sleeping ONE more time while I'm trying to blog, I might scream. I'm convinced most moms drink around bedtime. I need to get on this.}

It's been a crazy week in general with all these play dates I set up to distract the kids from Shawn being gone and then the Santa Barbara newspaper running a story on MPM and the upcoming Nickelodeon show this Sunday... I feel like I should be so excited and hopeful and yet, I'm just tired. I'm tired of thinking about the business and what steps I need to take... Right now I feel like I will never be able to put the time in to MPM that I actually want to. I can't even walk in to Coffee Bean for 5 minutes to pin up business cards without my kids fighting and screaming and embarrassing the living day lights out of me. Why can't we leave our kids in cars again? (Thanks to the idiot that had to screw that up for me.) I feel like I'm swimming an upstream battle by trying to relaunch this business as a "real business" while I'm raising my kids sans a nanny. And I only have two! And they're probably decent children! But my goodness they're needy! Like two full-time jobs. I mean seriously if I were President the SAHP (whether it be mom or dad) would get paid a nice fat salary! Sometimes I think it's crazy I do this all day and get no financial compensation! It's THE hardest work I've ever done.

I'm like that kind of famous that's anonymous. It's a special kind of famous. 

And then there's way more awesome moms out there attempting to explain homemade Play-Doe recipes to my kids. LALALALA- we're not listennning! I cannot handle regular Play-Doe, why would we make it homemade? That sounds like the worst idea evvverrr... Especially when the husband is gone. For a week. And our carpets already look like the dog just rolled around in mud on them. Oh wait that's right he did.

And to think Shawn will be gone for 3 weeks in October. I might hire a live-in nanny and preemptively join AA.

Friends keep "giving me ideas" for blogs to write while Shawn is gone. Yes you. And you. Stop. I have ideas- I've never been at a shortage for ideas to blog about. I'm actually avoiding the blog because I'm tired. Like blogging currently does not fit in to a kids-home-all-Summer-long-and-Mommy-gets-no-break lifestyle. I think people who don't blog think blogging is easy and posts just go up magically and within an hour. Hey- try it! It's not easy! It's time consuming! I wish it were easy and magical and that when I posted something people would just read it and share it and comment and I got a paycheck where I could buy a new rug every month. Gosh I love rugs.

I digress... I need my husband back. I need my wing man- my parenting wing man. Because I'm not cut out for single parenting. Did I mention Birdie peed on the couch twice this week so my living room inevitably smells like good ol' fashioned urine? Ya! And that she got ahold of a bag of sugar at 7am and filled 6 glass cups to the rim (and the floor all around) with it? Win! And Cormac's having night terrors again... Awesome! And yep, I just need to have a day to myself a-sap. Like a-lone. Like I don't even want a stranger to say hello to me. (Unless you saw me in the paper, then tell me how awesome I am.)

Here's a picture so you know we're all still alive. Well really just the kids because I'm pretty much dead. Tired. Dead tired. No reason to be alarmed. I'm totally alive and kicking. And screaming.

Ps- watch me on TV this Sunday night. I'll be moonlighting on Take Me To Your Mother on NickMom (check local listings for times). Who knows how long I'll be on or what I'm even going to say- I'm a loose cannon you know, so I don't even I know what I said... Hopefully something about throwing parties but I give no guarantees.

Earlier in the week we celebrated my niece's adorable self at a Peanuts Gang party that my sister handcrafted. 

See, I told you I'm alive.

xo Party or Die xo

kenna

Holy Awkward, When Did I Get So Awkward?

My junior high years were riddled with awkwardness- just ask my brother who jumps at the opportunity to show anyone my 6th grade picture. In my defense, I thought it would be a good idea to perm my already naturally curly hair the Summer between 5th and 6th grade. It wasn't. Not even a little bit. I mean a curl on top of a curl just equals frizz... Why didn't anyone tell me this?

Bikenstalks (real btw- thrift shop score!) and socks. You're welcome.

I'd seen one too many eps of Full House and DJ Tanner was pulling off the perfect amount of curl and I figured if I could just get mine a teensy bit more curly, I'd be amazing. Well it turns out "a little bit of curl" and "perm" never go together... Lesson learned! So I cut it short. Yah, it was an awkward couple of years. Like 4 of them. But then I hit a cool streak in high school and I thought I was in the clear, I'd done my time in Awkardville and I'd graduated with flying colors!

Or so I thought. Since moving I've come to notice that once again I'm hitting an awkward stride in certain unfamiliar situations. Which is like 90% of them when you're still getting used to a new place and new people... and WAIT FOR IT, are back in school. At 33 years old.

The place I most notice a different, much weirder version of me appear is at social networking situations through school and church. It's in these situations where I'm forced to introduce myself and talk about what I do. We just had one through my business class and oh man, I was dreaming of doing dishes and laundry- that's how much I wanted out of there. I tried escaping after 30 minutes and then again after 45 but got caught each time. Standing around a room talking to total strangers about my business is so incredibly painful for me... And just plain awkward for everyone involved. And being forced to listen to people's "advice" is enough to make me a full blown introvert. I had a woman tell me I should consider acting classes so I could get in to character at my themed parties. What the? WHY? Please can I leave now? I'm getting weird, you're already weird... I just want to go home and at least blog about this entire weird event. But instead of me sneaking away to the bathroom or something, somehow the extrovert in me still tries to engage people. Suddenly I'm talking about high school drama class and I don't even know why I'm explaining to this woman that I dropped out after 2 weeks... NO. Just stop. No one's taking an acting class, stop acting like it was a good idea and excuse yourself to GO TO THE BATHROOM. End the conversation, it can't be that hard!

Thank God that night redeemed itself with Thai food with a fellow classmate. I'm still ok in one-on-one situations... For now anyway...

Things like church parties and bridal showers have become kind of strained for me as well in my 30's. In my 20's those events were filled with all of my best friends or I was throwing them. But now a days I'm lucky if I know one other person at a shower. If I get cornered in to a conversation I'm not liking I suddenly don't know how to just get out of it like normal people do. Like hello Kenna, take a phone call for goodness sakes, people do that stuff all the time in the movies! Instead I'll do this thing where I can feel myself looking at the person with a look of confused-distain. YOU know that look. Ya, I'm the creator of that look. And if I'm feeling confused or annoyed or like I totally do NOT agree with what's being said (this happens to me a lot at "Christian Woman's" events) I cannot avoid The Look. I used to have a poker face, what happened to my poker face? Can't read my, can't read my... Poker Face...

Maybe I could make this my Poker Face...?

I keep having these weird flashbacks to feeling like an 11 year old permed outcast and at 33 I've got to say it's such a strange feeling. Most people at this stage of their life are really kind of good at talking about themselves. When I worked at Mattel I think I was good at it. I had a lot to rattle off about my job and accomplishments and future goals... And people just ate that stuff up. But give me an idea of my own to try and make happen (Miss Party Mom) and suddenly I'm almost shy and overly humble about it. It's like I'm in back in 6th grade and Scotty just broke up with me upon seeing the perm and I'm wearing my XL Strawberry Fields Forever shirt because my Great Aunt swore that all kids my age knew that The Beatles were cool. (They didn't Aunt Florence, they had no clue! Even when I tried to tell them! I guess it was more of a NKOTB era but who knew!)

And I know, I know- there are all of these ways to work on not being awkward. Like classes and joining public speaking groups. Like this woman who just came to speak to my class and talked about how she coaches a class of women to, "find their inner voice" and they learn yelling and breathing techniques and whhhaaaaaaaat are you even talking about? Why would I want to learn how to breathe when I'm breathing right now? I'm alive, aren't I? And yelling? Trust me, I yell perfectly.

Sometimes I think I'm a lost cause when it comes to social networking. That I'll always just be the awkward, weird, socially-strange girl in a sea of people plugging away their awesome selves. And then sometimes I remember that I am literally one of the most real people I know. I cannot fake-like or pushy-sell anything and it's a blessing and a curse all rolled in to one feisty little package. If you met my mom, you'd understand. So here's to just working on being a more confident version of myself and trusting in my dreams and my work enough to share them proudly without hesitation... Even if I'm awkward in the process.

The end.

OR MAYBE JUST THE BEGINNING. Think about it.

What?

xo Party or Die xo

kenna

 

Oh Dear, Am I That Mom I Hate?

In this day and age of mom-competition, where every mom has her own brand of being a mom ("Organic Mom", "Homeschool Mom", "Breastfeeding Mom", "No-Spank Mom", "Yes-Spank Mom", "Attachment Mom", "Baby-Wise Mom", "Cloth Diapering Mom", "No-Vaccine Mom, "Homeopathic Mom"... the list goes ON and ON...) I find myself always making it clear to anyone that will listen that I do not subscribe to any "parenting theories". I am theory-less. I'm just trying to make sure that my husband and I's "theories" at least meet- like half of the time.

I don't spend copious amounts of time reading up on parenting trends or soaking in books/magazines/podcasts on child rearing. Or any time at all. If I pick up Parenting Magazine, it's because I saw a pennant banner on the cover I liked, or a friend of mine has a published party in it.

I'm just sort of doing it, this parenting thing. Most days I struggle... like STRUG-GLE. I am not all up and at um' at 7am, excited about making homemade pancakes and juicing up my own healthy concoction for some added energy. I am begging, and I mean begging these two children of mine for, "5 more minutes please- then I'll put in some Eggos" and then downing cup after cup of glorious coffee, all while walking around until about 11:00am with some of the worst bed head you've ever laid eyes on.

I have good mom days and really, really bad days. Days I'm fried by 6:30pm and literally feel like these children must put themselves to bed- or I will in fact, implode. Days where I start off sentences to a 2 year old with, "WHY ON EARTH?" and "Are we SERIOUS here?!"

I read these blogs that talk about not saying, "Hurry Up" to your kids and definitely not EVER yelling. These are the new parenting forbiddens. Are these woman on Prozac? These blogs buzz around the internet once, find you on a bad day- and make you feel like crap... and then they come back for round two (just happened) for all the people who missed them the first time. And of course you have to stumble upon them both times on the days you happened to have yelled, "HURRY UP!" repeatedly.

I find myself wondering what brand of mom is really not saying "hurry up" and you know... Pretty much despising them. I'd go so far as to say if you're the person that's sharing all the, "don't say this to your kids" blogs, I'm probably rolling my eyes- like slow motion rolling my eyes at your profile picture. Unless I already love you- then you can do no wrong... but if I'm on the fence and you're going all perfect-mom on me then yaaaaa.... Totally rolling my eyes and yelling, "Oh brother!" at the computer.

But this weekend something hit me. It hit me that I could be... the annoying one. That eyes could be being rolled at ME. Little ol' no-child-rearing-theory-mom ME. The gal who has no true daily routine, no "meal-plans", no weekly mom-group play dates... ME.

I have always felt that because I have been so honest both in person and on the blog about how much I struggle devoting my life to motherhood- that no one could be annoyed by ME trying to be a perfect mom. Because I'm so not and it's so obvious that I'm not in the mom-competition, or if I am, I'm in like last place, dragging past the finish line. Hey- I may be in last place- but least I'm not annoying!

RIGHT?

I'm in the clear, right?

Well, it was brought to my attention after my sister visited this weekend that I might not be in the clear. She mentioned, in her lighthearted way- that more than a few people in the last 6 months has asked her if, in a nut shell- she's intimidated by throwing parties for her two girl's and inviting our mutual friends with me as her sister: Miss Party Mom.

WOW. I'M being used as the litmus test for how to throw parties? Well that IS annoying! As if us moms aren't already feeling judged by every woman in our lives- now we're going to act like the way we throw our kid's parties should hold any baring on us as mothers?

I guess it's time I set some things straight about being a Party Planning Mom. Maybe overdue actually.

Hear this ladies: Throwing a killer party for your kid- does NOT make you a good mom. At times, it can actually make you a really shitty one. It can completely blind you from who the party is actually for and wrap you up so deep in it- you've forgotten about LIFE and actually having one.

So if big parties are not your thing- don't throw them! Don't let Pinterest and other moms (like me) make you feel pressured in to doing something you're not great at and don't love.

I throw parties because, as I've mentioned many times before- I NEED some form of creative outlet and I happen to love throwing parties, always have. I did not start this business for my children- because I am some awesome mom who wanted them to always have the very best parties. I very much started it for myself, so that I'd be doing something I enjoyed every night when the kids went to bed.

The thought of moms (especially friends!) looking at my parties and rolling their eyes, saying, "Oh brother!" at the computer totally makes me cringe. I'm sure it's going to happen- in the same way I know friends who will never stop pinning, "Organic Must-Try Meals" or "10 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Appreciated Today"- things that literally make me want to regurgitate... Well I guess parties can do that to people too, my parties might do that to people.

I might be that mom I hate.

So in trying to ponder this new found discovery that I may be someone's "organic mom" (my version of the ultimate eye-roll) I guess my point here is that maybe us moms just need to focus on our strengths. And yes- it's probably going to annoy the next mom- SO what!

You want to grill up that green pepper and stuff the hell out of it with weird food I've never even heard of and definitely can't pronounce? Go for it. Ya, I'll still roll my eyes when you put it all over IG, FB and Twitter... but heck, if it makes you happy and you're good at it- have at it.

And I'm going to do my parties- not because I'm trying to out do anyone or be Super Party Mom. I'm just trying to be a mom who doesn't loose herself totally to wiping butts, popping Eggos and building Legos.

So you go cook your crazy meals and remember that I SUCK AT COOKING. You go run your marathon knowing that I'm WAY TOO LAZY FOR THAT. You go do anything other than throwing a killer party and remember that I probably have no idea how you even thought of that.

AND- If you want to do throw a Dora party with Walmart décor and focus on a gourmet meal... By all means we will GLADLY be at your party ready to enjoy your gourmet meal. Don't think I'm above anything because I throw my kid's "cool parties". I am still just a girl from the ghetto who had every birthday party at Pizza Hut on Inglewood Avenue. I had just as much fun there as I would have had at a the local light-up bowling alley where the "cool parties" were held.

Please remember this about your kids too, before you roll your eyes at that super annoying Pinterest party... That hopefully I didn't do.

xo Party or Die xo

kenna

Pretty much my only parenting theory.

A Christian Mom... {On the Verge of Screaming Some Shit.}

Enticing title, huh? Good, because I've only got one pic- so I'm hoping that title really makes up for it.

I've pretty much been in hiding for a month now. Not from the blog, obviously... But more like from humans. Party season came and went and I thought after that was over I'd want to reconnect with every friend I ever ignored. And that hasn't been the case. Far from it actually.

I woke up this morning and thought about calling a good friend that I haven't seen in a couple weeks. I got to thinking of all the things that we could potentially talk about and the fear that I'd probably say something very Kenna-esque and possibly hurtful zapped out the desire to ever make that phone call.

Not like I ever plan to be harsh- my opinions just tend to come out that way... and so to avoid it I've been more hermit-like than usual. Which is so not me. Why can't I just be all gentle and quiet like I'm "supposed" to be?

I just want to be understood (isn't that all anyone wants?) and sometimes in this town, a town I am very much 'not from', I feel like that simple desire is almost impossible. Since moving to Orcutt, I have felt like the odd [wo]man out. There are times I've rejoiced in this and times when I hate it so much I just want to avoid every mom in town- even my friends.

For starters, almost everyone I know here is Christian. Yaaay... When we moved here I thought that aspect of life would be so cool. "Think of all of the things we'll have in common!" Said me never since moving here. There is nothing like a group of Christian moms to make you realize that just because you love Jesus... you still don't really have that much in common.

There are days I just need to have friends where I can say the word SHIT without ever looking for the rewind button. Days I want to say things that have been stuck in the back of my mind without littering it with every apology I know. I just want to be ME... not the me that fits in with every other mom, with the clean house and kids who always listen and #mymarriagerocks! hashtags... But ME, right now. I want to be able to tell my kids to "hurry up" without feeling like I just said the two words that have been recently made known- NO mom should say...

ANYONE? GET ME?

I don't want to feel like saying the word, "blessed" is my ticket to being understood. That word has suddenly become so very annoying to me. I cannot handle Christianese in any form anymore. I cannot handle the Christian bubble. Right now in my life, I am so sensitive to "the bubble" for a number of reasons.

It has become so clear to me as Cormac's gotten older that I don't want any part in raising children to be "perfect little Christians." I'm over that idea. I want to raise rebels who love Christ and who get people thinking... and if they say, "sucks" or "freaking"... that's OK with me. Maybe someone who doesn't know Christ will actually listen to them.

Some days I long for my old friends who know me inside and out and accept me as I am. If I'm honest... I miss my old clique I guess.

In the past few years I've been utterly annoyed by moms who all think the same- and now I hate to admit it, I am one of them with my own set of think-the-same friends... and I get it. Life is easier when you surround yourself with a bunch of like-minded people...

So much so that in the last year I feel like I've created a long list in my head of things my friends should agree with me on... and it's really becoming apparent lately. It's quite disturbing, even to me- the list creator! It's something I need to acknowledge... and fix.... Because hello- I cannot be friends with a bunch of clone-Kenna's. But goodness my life would be so much easier- and I'd get all the validation I ever wanted!

Schooling is a huge subject where I live, maybe everywhere. It could be I'm just realizing it because Cormac will be starting Kindergarten next year. Well, this shouldn't be a shock if you already know me, but we are very-much choosing public school, as in the public school in our neighborhood where he is zoned to go. Maybe one day I will be bold enough to write about why I think that is an important decision. As a Christian in our town, this is almost unheard of to choose public over the very popular private school or the number of home school co-ops. I find myself feeling like I can't bring this topic up in most of my friend-groups for fear that I won't be understood or that I'll offend everyone with my opinions. I feel like I am so the odd-man out on this topic... that well, I'd rather just hang out with my clone friends because it's easier.

Politics? Oh, let's not even go there. It's impossible, I've given up.

I am considering not even joining our local bible study, which I've done for years, because I don't want to be annoyed with the constant home school and private school conversations... littered with political jousts at our President and how one party is literally, the only possible way to go.

I mean, how am I even still a Christian?

And why am I so annoyed? I used to love differences in people... but since having kids the differences have become so polarizing. And not being in the "in-crowd" clique is actually a bit harder than it was in high school... In high school cliques are expected... in adult life, well... I wasn't quite expecting this. And not to say I don't have a clique. I do. It's small, so small that on some days it only has one member... one member who prefers to craft and blog than talk about her "children being blessings." Not that I don't think they are but I have other things to talk about.

It's probably about time I really sat down with the President of my clique {Myself?} and did a little self evaluation. But I'm perfect, why would I ever need to self evaluate...

It's a good thing we're going on vacation soon... maybe I can take some time to think about how I'm contributing to the tension with {mainly Christian} moms in this town. If you don't feel it, maybe you're not in a clique. And good for you, seriously... Can we hang out and start our own clique?

*Did I mention my husband is a pastor? Oh, I didn't... maybe for good reason...

Do I see a clique a formin'?

Aren't Creative People Supposed to Like Change?

         ...10 Changes I'd Like to See Change Back 

I've come to grips with the fact that I don't really like change. It took me 33 years to be OK with saying that. The other 32 I was all, "change happens, you might as well get used to it!" No, that was a load of crap some "wise" person must have once said to me. Change sucks. It messes with the flow of things. Especially when that change has to do with your kids... we'll start with them first.

xo Party or Die xo

kenna

1) Birdie ditching the name "Dee Dee" for her blankie...

As soon as she could talk she lovingly named her security blanket Dee Dee. I loved it because I had (have? Who's keeping track) my own Bray Bray. However recently, she has moved on to Blankie, just plain ol' Blankie. When I say Dee Dee, because it just comes naturally- she gives me the glare, as in- "that is SOO 2 months ago MOM..."

2) Cormac wanting (adamantly) to switch up his preschool schedule.
Essentially he wants to go to Kindergarten. He wants to go to school all week long- BUT only Half Day vs. his current two Full Days. His bestie William is going in to 1st grade and he cannot for the life of him understand why he is doing yet another year of preschool {dang January birthday}.

"If I have to take one more nap!" -Cormac Cove

We're currently in "talks" about his Fall schedule and learning to "compromise" {teachable moment, hell-o!} (As in I'm trying to see if I can possibly get a child to school by 8:30 a.m. 5 days a week- what do I look like, a robot?)

He's like all eager to learn and stuff...? Crazy.

3) Birdie ditching the sound machine for sleep...
"My kids love their sound machines!"- Me

She's robbed me of my right to say this. I used to tell every expectant mother I knew that noise machines were nothing short of mini ear-whisperers and to, "Definitely register for one!" I have Cormac who still sleeps with a gentle ocean breeze flowing through his room... But Birdie? She's over it. She has started yelling, "NO NOISE!" at nap time until I turn it off. So I guess it's permanently off... sad face. This pretty much means her napping days are just about over since the slightest of noises wakes her up. Why does this child insist on being a little mini-me with her easy-waking ways?

4) Cormac's loose tooth
I'm down right not ready for loose teeth. Shawn said I looked incredibly mad when Cormac told me the big news. Not mad... just surprisingly sad... He's only 4- which in my eyes is still practically a toddler. So I've drafted up this little letter, hoping it gets in to the right hands...

Dear Loose Tooth, 
Please just re-root yourself or something. The Tooth Fairy doesn't even have her shtick down yet... she was banking on another year.
Thanks,
Miss Party Mom

5) Birdie's chipped tooth
What's up with our teeth issues in this family? Can I get a break?

The concrete, her face. She cried... {of course I cried}. We went to the dentist and he said it wasn't going to be a problem to fix. Guess what? He didn't know my daughter... it was a problem. So now I'm getting used to her little snaggle tooth... and every time she opens her mouth I gasp inside. (If any one feels the need to comment the on "baby tooth" fact... yes, understood. Still sad.)

6) Cormac refusing to take a bath anymore
A total shock, this one was... I mean, what kid doesn't love bath time?! Cormac. He ONLY wants to shower now as he's not a "baby" anymore... Duh, mom!

Even though I have never been a mom that gets sad about my kids growing up... This? This is kind of sad... I mean, bath time... it's a childhood staple! Maybe it's a phase... here's to hoping...

I miss it already.

*On to the non-kid changes... 
(these are more just annoyingly, "WHYYYY?" worthy...)*

7) Michael's AND Ross rearranging themselves...
Look guys, haven't you ever heard the ol', "if it ain't broke" rule? I mean, really Michael's... the one place I know better than your own store employees? You're going to go all Joann Fabric's store set up on us? So much for originality! And Ross... what was the point of putting the dress racks in the back? Just to mess with my whole mapped out Ross shopping experience, which was utterly fine tuned?!

8) Kara's Party Ideas switching around their website & blog...
With this one I've really got my panties in a wad. I don't know if I don't like the change to the site... or if I just don't like change. Either way, I miss the old KPI on a daily basis. I guess if I ever want another party featured I'd better zip it... Please just here me when I say, "WAAAAAAHHHH...."

9) Google changing our email around...
I didn't answer any blog comments for like, a week... because I didn't know I had them GOOGLE. They were in the "Social" folder, so thanks for making me look like a crappy blog owner GOOGLE... I mean, sure they sent a "see our new changes" pop-up... like I have time for pop-ups... #AintNobodyGotTimeForThat

10) Fresh & Easy not food sampling anymore... 
What is the point of Fresh and Easy if you can't bribe your kids with a little chips and salsa while you shop? I loathe grocery shopping- but when paired with a slice of brie on a poppy seed cracker and calm kids munching on organic blue chips... well- then it was somewhat doable. Those free samples meant everything to me and my now grocery-store-starved children! They've practically lost my business- I mean, if it wasn't for that whole Easy part (and the clearance fridge) I'd really be done...

I just want to reach out and grab one, like the old days...

Any changes in your life that are just slightly annoying? 

Well share them already, I'll validate you!

The Ol' Husband and Wife Home Decorating Miss-Communication....

Okay so my husband is gone at Summer Camp (he's a youth pastor- remember?) and coincidentally I'm long overdue on a vent-sesh...

Since Shawn and I have been married (7 years- if you haven't read THAT post, you're in for a real treat!) we have had BED issues. Okaaaaaay, c'mon... get your head out of the gutter... I'm talking legitimate bed, as in where we lie down to go to sleep- issues. As in he has been complaining about our sleep situation for seven. flippin'. years. It's enough to drive a woman insane. I mean, I can sleep anywhere, on anything. I am part narcoleptic I think... Come to think of it I actually fell asleep at a 1997 Blink 182 concert ("Kenna! Wake up! It's time to go, the show's over!" -Kenna's ex boyfriend). I recently slept in my daughters crib and no, I'm not joking. (Yes she was in it- I'm not a total freak!)

At first it was that Shawn hated my mattress protector. He said it made him "sweaty". So I took it off. Next he said the bed was, "Waaaay too soft." I pointed him towards the couch and relished in the softness of my Sealy Black Label Pillow Top as this was one of my only big purchases as a single woman and was purchased at a time when pillow tops were the Sleep Number of mattresses! I felt like we could definitely get a few more years out of the mattress so I put my foot down and said we were keeping it.

A year goes by and a sweet lady from our church calls and offers us a brand new mattress. Shawn was jumping up and down and hello, how could I say no to free? I couldn't, I tried. So out with my amazing pillow top and in with... well, the opposite of a pillow top. I'm pretty sure it was called the Rock Top. I thought I could sleep on anything until we got the Rock Top. A month later my birthday rolled around and I bought myself a memory foam mattress topper from Costco. Brought it home and bam... perfection- we were both happy with our bed for the first time in 5 years.

After a week though we started realizing the memory foam topper slid around a lot. It would move its way down the bed and cause our pillows to slide down in between our bed and our "head board" (we'll get to why this is in quotes in a minute...) Shawn was losing his mind over his disappearing pillows and would ask me at 2 a.m., "Where are my PILLOWS Kenna- I need them!" Please don't ever try talking to me at 2 a.m.... unless it is the night before a party and we're up hot gluing some last minute details. Any other circumstance, and it's a bad idea.

THE HEADBOARD...

We've never owned like a REAL bed frame. I actually don't know if in all of my life I've even owned a REAL bed frame. I've owned futons a plenty... but a big bed frame just hasn't come in to my possession. So when we moved to Orcutt, I took this bamboo divider I had and put it behind our bed. I liked the look and it was the perfect fit- another reason to never buy a bed frame I figured. The problem with this was that it wasn't connected to the actual bed and because of that the memory foam topper was sliding down the end of the bed... we had a gap... and well, you get the point.

To be honest, it never even bothered me. Like I said. Pillow? No pillow? I'm asleep, who cares. But Shawn kept telling me we needed a new head board. Finally I agreed and I told him we'd put aside a little savings for one... and I started doing some research.

And this part of the story is actually what this post is about... (the rest was my intro.)

Over the course of the next few weeks (2 months ago) I showed him a bunch of head boards I liked... he seemed to like them too? I assumed we were in the deciding/saving process of the headboard purchase and since I knew this was a big deal to him I wanted him to weigh in on the designs too... I personally was really hoping for something like one of these...

                                              Camden Tufted Headboard by Ballard Designs

I mean, in a dream world I'd have loved to have found something like this at an antique store- I was willing to do some serious searching for something perfect!

Of course, this was a stretch, but I'd pinned it- which means I needed it...

Headboard by Casa Midy

All I really cared about was that at the end of the day Shawn would look like the first picture in the post... well, and that the headboard would GO with the rest of our house... like the old wannabe one pretty much kind of did...

I thought I was open to so many head board ideas- until that is- I came home to the handmade-by-Shawn ALL WOOD FENCE POST HEADBOARD. Mr. Pinterest himself came up with his own idea for a head board, our head board. Lord help me. Have I mentioned he's handy? And a man's man? A deadly combination for home decorating...

So I walked in the house after a long day of waitressing and my son yelled, "Me and Daddy made you something today!" I looked at them both puzzled and confused.... I hadn't even asked for anything... what in the world could it be? Well, let me go through the things that popped in to my head. #1- Finally- a Party Shed (I knew it was a stretch they made it in 6 hours but I though at least a start would be nice?) #2- new shelving in the Party Cave (Early birthday gift?) #3- closet remodel?!

Cormac took me to my bedroom and pointed at what I am now referring to as Wilson's Headboard (Makes me think some creeper is going to be peeking over it?)

As I stood and stared at said head board I couldn't quite find the words I needed to say thank you to my two handy men... I mean, it was a fence... attached to my bed. Shawn thought it was amazing. Cormac was yelling, "What color are we painting it?" and I was trying my hardest to not sound like a total jerk and ask, "What happened to the headboards we loved online?"

Shawn must have repeated, "It was less than $50.00 and solves all of the pillow problems!" like, I don't know... 100 times. I guess the boys in the house had a momentary lapse of memory on how I kind of care about our home decor...

And here's the thing. They LOVE it. Cormac feels involved in making me something "I wanted". Shawn feels like he solved all the world's pillow problems. And I'm all... WOW, did I mention it's a fence... attached to our bed!

And so ok, I know headboards are oh-so-makeable and this is a solid base I could add on to. I see tutorials for making headboards on Pinterest all the time. I've known a lot of people to make them and they've turned out pretty good. To be honest I've tried to upholsterer a few things in the past and hated the process... and never liked the outcome because I am a perfectionist...

Here are my current thoughts... I could paint it gloss black and add some gold glitter to the tops of all of the posts (juxtaposition?), change up our bedding (which I've been wanting to do) and maybe then I'd love it...? Or screw some picture frames to it and make it an "eclectic" look? I could include Cormac in the process of both of these, a major plus? Work with me!

What do YOU think? Remember, Shawn's at camp...

xo Party or Die xo

kenna