The Art of Attending an Event Planner's Party {Part Two}

If you are here by chance and didn't read PART ONE of this post, please hault your reading. I have a big ol' intro over in the opening post that is a must read. You shouldn't have even read that last line-you should be over at Part One by now!

Okay, good- you're back.

Shall we continue? Maybe you should grab a glass of wine...
It's 10am? A shot will do.

Custom Wine Glasses by Vinyl Eloquence

Let me set the stage... You're arriving at the party- on time because you now know how important this is. As a fellow party planner/friend so keenly brought to my attention- "Lateness is not some 'quirk', drinking wine with a straw is a 'quirk'... Lateness is just rude."

You put your bags and gift down and head over to where the party is happening. You're impressed. You can't imagine why on earth anyone would want to put this much effort in to a single day. At this point, we might be wondering that very same thing.

You notice someone. She's probably dressed in black and seems to be taking her job very seriously. It's...

 

THE PHOTOGRAPHER.

 

Guests either love or hate seeing a professional photographer at a party. If you love it- great! Go photobomb some pics (except the close ups on my dessert table, I'll kill you). If you hate it- please remind yourself that the hostess is also a party planner who has worked endless hours getting the party to look a certain way. There's a chance she didn't sleep the night before, or if she did- that she woke up at 6am to set up. In a nut shell, this is months of hard work coming to fruition. We NEED great photos, without them- our work is nothing.

San Diego photographer Maria Healy capturing Tania Fischer Designs dessert table.

So if you have to wait a minute before biting in to that shimmery chocolate covered Oreo- wait two minutes. If you have to be a stealth ninja about getting that handmade felt flower in to your daughter's hair so that a pic can be taken of all of the girls wearing their adorable party favors... BE THAT NINJA. And please don't complain about it.

Look on the bright side- you're probably going to see some pretty adorable photos of your kid with their close friends floating around social media in a few weeks- high res and everything! (You're welcome.)

Photo by my girl Christina at Moments Captured Photography located on the Central Coast of CA

DESTROYING THE DESSERT TABLE.

Help me out here... When does one eat dessert? Is it before a meal, or after- I'm forgetting? NO, I'M NOT.

Do not show up to a party that happens to have a dessert bar and start raiding it upon entrance. Usually, if there's a table specifically for desserts, you can safely assume there's some food being served as well. Look for it. Stuff a hot dog in your face- have a soda. Wait until the hostess announces that the dessert table is open- which isn't usually very long in to the party. If you have a toddler and they're losing it at the sight of cake pops, (I have this child) ask the hostess if there are any extra hidden ones he/she can sneak in to the bathroom or something.

While I don't want guests to feel like they have to watch their child the entire party, please make sure they are not doing things like hiding under the dessert table playing hide and seek. Because if that cake falls over, I will stand behind the old adage, "It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to."

Part of the fun for a party planner is showing off the beauty of her work. In an ideal world for us- every guest would get to admire and Instagram (with a proper hashtag) the custom cookies you had made or the Jello cups you so carefully layered. All we ask for is about 30 minutes (give or take a few) for those inevitable late arrivers to get in a peak at the dessert table. It takes months to design and just under 2 minutes to devour. Just give us our half hour.

"O.M.G.- THAT IS SO PINTEREST!"

Really? Because that is so annoying. Do party planners love and get inspired by Pinterest? Of course we do! And sometimes (gasp!) we even use an idea or two- I do for sure! However- that doesn't mean that every cute idea at a party planner's party is a "Pinterest idea". We're creative ladies- promise! We have ideas too! I for one was EVEN creative before Pinterest (I even wrote a post on it)!

Unless totally sincere and interested in how "Pinterest idea" was made- we really don't wan't to hear the ever popular, "I SO saw that idea on Pinterest!" yelled from across the party. Please remember, the idea still took time and effort to make- and if you've ever seen a Pinterest Fail- probably a small amount of talent.

Other sayings like, "I WISH I had spare time in my hectic life to throw my kid a party like this!" are equally annoying... and with the right tone... I don't know, condescending? We don't just have 3 extra hours a day to hang out and craft. We're moms as well- which is kind of a full time job! We stay up late and wake up early to do something we love. So please avoid being passive aggressive because I can read between the lines. I don't walk in to your Book Club and say, "I really wish I had time to sit around and read books all day!" DO I?

DON'T SHOW UP WITH AN ENTOURAGE.

Unless you are Lady Gaga and trying to see if you want to hire me to throw your 30th Birthday Extravaganza- do not show up with groupies.

If your 9 year old child's name was the only one on the invite- do not send your 4 year with him. Do not bring your neighbor's kid who, "really wanted to come too"... Or some random cousins. Chances are the party is limited on space, favors, food and desserts.

If you feel like it was an oversight your other child wasn't invited: it wasn't. But if you insist it was, then kindly ask the hostess and be prepared to hear, "Sorry- we're only having 10 children for this party". Do not just drop off extra kids.

There is a loop hole here- because to be honest, I am actually ok with an extra child coming in the event of something necessary/helpful/you have out-of-town visitors. When I was on bed rest with my daughter, my son went to random birthday parties with other moms who's kids happened to be invited and I have no doubt my friends asked first, explaining the situation. All we ask is that you ask the hostess in advance if, "little Jonny can come because I've already committed to watching him this day." While we may not be able to bust out a custom made favor- we'd love to be given the opportunity to scrounge up something!


"MY KID DIDN'T GET A FAVOR!"

On the super off chance that we've done some majorly terrible calculating (I can't even imagine- seriously) please don't make a huge deal about it. As in, kindly ask the hostess in private if there might be any other favors because your child didn't get one. Don't start yelling, "Where's _________'s favor?! I don't see it with the rest!" Just....... don't.

And if you must be angry about that missing favor, have your kid go snatch it out of that uninvited cousin's hand.

Also ask yourself, "Did I RSVP?"

In conclusion... We really do enjoy throwing parties. Maybe too much you're thinking! May-be. But we caaaan't stop... And we woooon't stop. We love to entertain guests and show off our skill just like a runner loves to run in a marathon. We've spent a lot of time getting ready for the party in hopes of sharing a great day of celebration with you- because we love what we do and hope you will enjoy it too.

xo Party or Die xo

kenna

 

 

The Art of Attending an Event Planner's Party {Part One}

It's a scary thought- actually pressing "Publish" on this post- maybe more so that any other one I've ever written! I've had the idea for this entry for quite some time and while I feel there is probably never going to be the *perfect* time for me to put it out there (as a mom who throws real parties)- here's to hoping this time frame is better than publishing it the week after one of my kid's parties? The truth is- a lot of these things haven't even happened to me directly- really! But I'm in a community with so many other party & event planners that at this point if I'm going to go for it- I feel like I have to share for all of us...

Party Planner aside- obviously no mom wants to make their guests feel like they can't just attend their party like every other normal party... This is true, I want guests to feel at ease and have a blast.

However...what is also true- and this may be a total contradiction- is that it isn't in fact any other "normal party".

You know it, I know- if your kid's have attended previous parties- they know it. And if you don't know it- the invitation will usually always clue you in. A party planner prides herself on the snail mail invite and glitter is usually involved.

There have been weeks (mainly Party Week) where I have dreamed of throwing the Normal Party... Days I wish I could take a break and be Mellow Party Mom for one party in my life. That care-free spirit of a woman who texts people the party info a week before the party. She puts chips and dip out and serves water with lemon. She places the candle in the middle of her self-frosted cupcake, hands it to her child and helps get the "Happy Birthday" song going, complete with "And many more, on Channel 4...". Oh, to be her- my idol at 2am the night before a big party.


Bless it.

But, of course... that will never happen. The elusive "Normal Party" is fleeting in my mind. I have tried- and failed, many times. My attempt at a normal party for Cormac's 3rd Birthday Yo Gabba Gabba Party is pretty much what launched me in to this business, unbeknownst to ever knowing I wanted to be an actual Party Planner. This was before I knew about dessert tables or backdrops or "linens"... Before I knew about anything party-related really... Anything other than spending copious amounts of time on things most people wouldn't notice. Which I'm actually totally fine with now, really. I have gotten to a place where I very much realize the details are for me and my fellow Party People (you know who you are!). In the same way a lot of woman dress "cute" to impress other woman- I do things like wrap napkins in dyed doilies and ric-rack bows- for other party planners.

In my year of blogging I've deemed myself as kind of the party planner who says what most other party planners are thinking... It's a tough role to fill at times, ain't that the truth!?

In an effort to not piss off every past party guest of mine, I am going to try and carefully broach this subject. But we all know I am not known for being exactly... errrr, gentle- per say... So, I will probably still offend every guest I've ever invited (and maybe even cut my numbers in half so I have more of a décor budget at the next party- oh c'mon, kidding!)

And while yes, I am kind of writing this on behalf of party planners... I'd also say these suggestions apply really well across the board- when invited to ANY party. So if you don't ever think you'll attend a party planner's function- don't think you're off the hook!

In the title of this post I very carefully used the words, "Art of Attending" vs. "Rules of Attending" because I'm offering these up as more of, well let's see... Suggestions? Strong, strong suggestions.

Shall we begin? Let's start with...

THE INVITATION.

You've checked the mail and stumbled upon something non-bill like with a carefully placed festive sticker on it, or perhaps a stamp or two to clue you in to some sort of theme coming your way. You're happy with this joyous piece of mail- and you know your kids will enjoy it as well.


Birdie's 1st Birthday Party

You open it. Your kid's note the theme and you quickly note the date, time and location. You get on your phone, or look at your real-life calendar to see if you're available.

STOP.

ARE. YOU. AVAILABLE?

Most party planners give a generous 3 weeks to a month's notice which should give you some flexibility in deciding if the day of the party is a going to be a good fit for you. If it isn't- a NO is a perfectly acceptable answer, because.... WAIT FOR IT, it's an answer. And amen to answers. Promptly texting, emailing or plain ol' fashioned calling the host to let them know that unfortunately the party isn't in the cards would be SO greatly appreciated. A NO helps us know we don't need to worry about adding your child to our favor, food, dessert and chair head count.

I have some more crazy news I'm about to share. A MAYBE is also an answer. Giving the hostess a heads up that you have other plans as well that day (soccer game, another party, WHATEVER) but that you're going to try your best to make it to the party- is a perfectly good enough response in my opinion. This let's us know we should probably have a backup favor and cupcake just in case maybe-child can swing by after all. A party planner's worst nightmare is a kid showing up to find no customized favor bejeweled with their name on it. I choke up just thinking about it.

Well, now it's about to get wild, because coming at you is some EXTRA crazy news. A YES answer- though exciting- also needs to be communicated to the hostess. Do not assume because your son is besties with the birthday boy that the hostess innately knows you're going to make it. A quick little text, "We'd love to attend!" is perfect- even more perfect if it's timely- as in, not the night before the party.

If you RSVP as a yes- unless of course sickness strikes or an emergency arises- be a YES. Don't suddenly the day of say, "We were just so tired from yesterday's crazy schedule so we decided to stay home!" At least lie to me about a sickness, k?

Let me confess something to you. This past January- for my son's 5th birthday party, I didn't even put an RSVP on the invite. That's how defeated I feel by the RSVP. I resorted to straight cold-texting people asking them if they were going to be able to make it- which is just plain weird.

In conclusion- we're all busy. No one should be so busy they can't communicate even a Maybe answer.

Cute planner from Etsy... Just a thought!

NOT GETTING AN INVITATION.

Look- I get it. 6ish years ago I wasn't invited to my friend's daughter's 1st birthday party. AND I STILL REMEMBER IT. I was her- um, briiiiidesmaid?! I know first hand that a no-invite can sting.

I also now totally get it. You just plain can't invite everyone- as much as you may want to!

So, in the event the invite does not make it to your mailbox- please for the sake of all that is good and holy- do not go on social media and leave comments like, "Guess my invite got lost in the mail!" on party photos or status' about said party. It's just awkward. If your child didn't get an invite- seriously ask yourself these questions before getting offended, "Is my child [still] a close friend of the birthday boy/girl? Do they play together often?"

Be gracious- I have had to learn this myself big time. Like every mom- a party planner closely calculates numbers, costs and space and because of the level of detail going in to the party- probably even more so.

I hate the fact that we will always inevitably leave people out but the bottom line is that it's not realistic to invite every child your kid has ever known, until we move in to the MPM Mansion, that is.

"I'M LATE, I'M LATE FOR A VERY IMPORTANT... PARTY?"

Look- being late to any party is tacky... Not just a party planner's. But with the right excuse, like being caught off guard by traffic, a toddler meltdown, etc. most hostesses will totally get it. We're moms, and for the most part fairly reasonable women. However, please try to be on time- like within the first 30 minutes. We've been planning this party for way too long to publicly acknowledge and there's this thing called a timeline we'd like to somewhat maintain. Is that too much to ask?

On the same note- do not show up early. Or if you do- be prepared to get put to work- which I hate doing to guests, but it inevitably WILL HAPPEN. Trust me when I say that no party planner is ever sitting around 25 minutes before a party saying, "I wish my guests would hurry up and get here already!" NO. We're sweating, tired, hungry... it ain't pretty. Give us until the specified start time unless you want to witness: Birthdayzilla, a ferocious beast of an animal no party guest should have to experience.

Ok, so there you have it- the first half of the post. Now if you were even slightly offended by that, I'd highly recommend you pretend like PART TWO doesn't exist.

xo Party or Die xo

kenna